*whitestripes

Eeee! So excited to be taking part in the Crest @3DWhite “Two Weeks to Your Whitest Smile” Program! (Just in time for New Years!) I used Crest Whitestrips right before my wedding, and was so happy with the results… But it’s been a while, so I’m super excited to see what the Crest 3D White Supreme Flexfit Whitestrips can do! I’ll be sharing a recap on the blog soon. 😄 #3dwhitesmile (at kellyinthecity.com)

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Birthday present is amazing #epiphone #wildkat #guitar #whitestripes #thewhitestripes #jackwhite #red #semihollow #guitarporn #riffwars

I didn’t think it could possibly be as bad as those Entertainment Weekly covers.  And it is.  Its so much worse.  Apparently the 800s have been using Crest Whitening Strips.  As Andres and I have discussed, how is Jai Courtney still getting work? And just because Jason Clark worked in Planet of the Apes doesn’t mean that a little scarring makeup is going to help him ride this one out. I need Alan Taylor and Mr. Clark to have several seats.

Note how every action trailer must now involve a Lorde-esque arena stomper that starts quietly and then requires a sound and visual drop out 1/3 of the way through the trailer so they can burst back in with the chorus.  

(Sidebar: the only thing that Jai Courtney could offer at this point is his      perpetual nudity.  If I don’t see his penis a grand total of 12 times   and for a minimum of 4 seconds for each exposure I’m asking for a  refund.)

Next, Byung-hun Lee as the new T-1000.  I absolutely loved him in I Saw the Devil,and this is about the only thing that got my nips a little brittle, maybe not the full diamond, but at least a solid rose quartz.  

Now we get down to brass tacks….*sigh* Emilia Clarke….girl. *additional sighing* NO. I think the first thing that bothered me was her mouth and how she likes to form words.  Its as if she lives under the constant threat of her lips running away with her face.  She enunciates like a dramatic 8 year-old. And did anyone else have to go back four times to 01:29 to make sure that wasn’t Jennifer Lawrence?  

Beowulf-style T-800 Arnie was a laugh.  They should hook up for the sheer irony.  

Props on the T-1000 finally deciding to break pieces of itself off and weaponize them.  

The rest of the trailer is the typical vehicular carnage and fire that one would expect along with Emilia Clarke and her mouth punching more words at everyone. 

(Sidebar: There must be some great tax incentive business going on for  all these big budgeters being shot in San Francisco. That poor bridge.)

I’d be lying if I were to pretend like I won’tgo see this in theaters, but, and this may be a good thing, it usually is, my expectations are rock bottom.  Like Sarah Connor says, “Everything’s changed…” and it doesn’t look like its for the better.

Cool, Weird, and just Strange Jack White Fan Art

Cool, Weird, and just strange, Jack White Fan art. I looked all over the place and found these. I’ll credit the ones I remember, but as for the rest, you know who you are… 

whAT IN THe NAME OF EVERYHING IS hE A TROLL!?! Nightmare fuel. He’s comin’ to your house tonight, The red nose is cool though.

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Jack’s Finger Surgery by stars-of-leo on devient art. Dude why. Cool, but why

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THIS. I WANT THIS. BILLBOARD ON MY HOUSE. By cynthia-blair on Deviant Art.

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Tim Burton/ WHO PUT U ON THE PLANET?! from that spongebob episode.

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Aged like fine cheese….

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COOL.

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i CaN tell dAt we r gunna B FRIIEnnds. by WhiteStripedGroup on deviant art.

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SIVIN NITIN ARMI

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HOLY CRAP. IT’S A SKULL TURN IT SIDEWAYS!!!! By nadermarouf on devientart.

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JesUS tAKE THE WHEEEELLLL  by creaturedesign on deviant art.

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Idk

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THIS IS A DRAWING. SO REAL. by perselus on deviant art

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THIS IS MADE FROM BROWN TAPE. by supereiki

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lets have a ball and biscuit sugar… maybe your soul, too. By junkdoll on deviant art.

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look

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Hi! Wanna sleep in my bed tonight? by marustahl on deviant art.

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U took a white orchid and SET IT ON FIRE. by caricatured on deviant art.

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huh.

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Do we look like we’re sun people?

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This one was pointed out to me by i-wont-let-mr-jackwhite-rest anD I’M SCREAMING

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That’s about it for now. I am in no way trying to make fun of any of the artists. I am appreciating your artwork with a bit of humor. 

Beauty Tips:

Want flawless skin without makeup? - try the GlamGlow mud masks from Sephora

Want whiter teeth fast? - try Crest 3D whitestrips (Luxe)

Looking for inexpensive makeup brushes that won’t break the bank? - Real Technique brushes are the way to go

Want your makeup to last all day? - Urban Decay DeSlick setting spray works wonders

…thank me later 😊