• me:after being forcibly institutionalized a bunch my relationship with gratitude has changed a lot. every day i wake up relieved that i'm not chained to a bed, that i'm not locked in a room, that i can eat the foods i want whenever i want. i'm trying to not let the fear of going back consume me.
  • my friend:you know, that's kind of how i see depression
  • me:oh my god

I do actually have some problems with perfectionism, and having trouble getting things done because of that.

But, there’s also some danger in assuming that convoluted psychological explanations necessarily apply to every kind of difficulty somebody runs into.

Executive function problems and inertia keep me from starting and finishing a lot of things. It’s not “fear of failure”, “self-sabotaging fear of success”, or any of the other motivations other people have tried to insist over the years, any more than it is laziness creating these problems.

I can usually tell a clear difference between difficulties getting stuff done because of the OCD perfectionism and not wanting to screw up/get jumped on/etc., and the difficulties from inertia and executive function problems. I may not have known what to call the second set of barriers before, but I could tell it was not the same thing.

It’s really not helpful to keep insisting that someone must not be aware of/just not wanting to admit their True Motivations, if what they are saying/experiencing doesn’t fit with how you think things should work. The answer is not necessarily that their perceptions are wrong, or that they might just be lying.

That’s another example of how to create anxiety where it wasn’t there before.

Especially if you’re dealing with someone who is prone to “overthinking” in the first place. “But, maybe I really am just deluding myself about what’s going on! And I am fucked-up up enough not to even know it.” And so on. Yes, I have been actively encouraged to do that in the past, and it just wasn’t good. (Definitely not limited to this kind of context, either.)

Not that the post that reminded me was doing anything like that.

But, what might look like procrastination might not really be the same thing. And the very different basic problems there tend to require different workarounds.