stop calling me beautiful.
my scars are not beautiful. i spent nights sobbing and dragging a razor over my skin because i could not cope with life. not because i wanted you to kiss my scars and make me promise to never cut again.
my body is not beautiful. i still starve myself everyday and i run until my legs collapse under myself. i have to be skinny, i have to be thin because i have always been fat. not because i want to be some girl who’s pretty enough for you.
my moods are not beautiful. i cannot control my euphoria or desolation and it’s not because i want to be like this. i want it all to end, i wish i could erase my bipolar off my mind. god knows i’ve tried but alcohol isn’t a memory wipe. i want to forget to make myself less miserable. not to seem more appealing to you.
my mental illness has nothing to do with you. hence why it is my mental illness, not yours. i am not some beautiful girl who’s broken and wants a guy to fix her.
i am a four a.m breakdown, i am a hurricane like no other, i am a death you could never say goodbye to.
i am not beautiful.
—  "but baby you’re so beautiful"

anonymous said:

Metro PD boys react to mc being killed during a case

*evil laughter*

Kirisawa: You were covered in blood. He quickly placed his hand to your pulse to find nothing. “No…_____…no come on wake up.” He roughly shook your lifeless corpse. You couldn’t be dead, you just couldn’t. Not with your wedding coming up in just a few months. He clenched his teeth, his vision blurring. “Please…wake up…”

Hanai: He ran up to the paramedics, praying to any god that it wasn’t going to be you under that sheet. It seemed, however, any prays were going unheard. When he pulled back the sheet, he was met with your ghostly white corpse. He held his fist to his mouth to stop any cries from escaping. He felt a tear travel slowly down his cheek. He gently took your hand in his to find something clenched inside it. He slowly pulled out a ring. Your ring. The one he gave you when he proposed just 4 short months earlier. “_____…”

Tennoji: He was so angry. Not because of your death but because of his inability to protect you. He couldn’t protect the person he loved more than anything. That night when he stared at the empty bed where you had been just that morning, he felt tears fall down his cheeks. His fists clenched hard, shaking with his rage. Then all of a sudden, he was lashing out. The lamp crashed to the ground as he pushed the table over before he collapsed to the floor just at your side of the bed. The only sound left was his shaky whisper of your name.

Asano: When he was told the news of your death he didn’t quite believe it. But as the reality set in, the only thing he could think was that he was alone again. The only person he loved…was gone. It’s almost as if she had slipped from his grasp. He felt empty, hollow. He didn’t cry. He couldn’t. Instead he stood there, his eyes clouding over with his pain. In the nights to come, when his bed was empty and cold that’s when he would release his tears. He would hold the pillow that held your scent and he would remember you…

Eiki: When he saw your lifeless body, he almost didn’t believe it was you. It was almost as if this was a sick, twisted dream. It didn’t look like you. You weren’t the beautiful, vibrant woman he knew and loved. Your skin was white and littered with various cuts and bruises. As your body blurred in his eyes, he realized this was all too real. You were gone. And now all he wanted was to be able to hear you say you loved him one last time. Just one more time…

Nomura: The beautiful, vibrant, happy woman he had seen just a few short hours ago was gone. Now he was faced with a mangled, bloody, and disheveled corpse. Almost as if it was a shell of who you were. He gingerly reached to touch your face but quickly pulled it back to find it was ice cold. He slowly lowered his head to your chest as he began to cry. He silently prayed, through his broken sobs, to hear even just a faint heartbeat. Anything to give him hope that you weren’t really dead. But as he was pulled away and the sheet was placed back over you, everything came crashing down. Any hope he had…it was gone…you were gone.

Kyobashi: When he first saw your body, he immediately went into denial. It wasn’t you. It couldn’t be. You promised him that you’d be okay. You’d never break your promise. But when he got home that night and saw your side of the bed was empty, he broke. He gingerly touched your sheets. It was amazing to think it had been only this morning that you were there, giggling as you kissed his face to wake him up. Tears fell down his cheeks. It was amazing to think that someone could be gone from his life so fast…in the blink of an eye. Slowly, he walked to the door, taking one last look at his and your abandoned bed. He shut off the light and closed the door…leaving the bedroom that reminded him everything of you.

Oops. My hand slipped.
-Lily

4

I’ve added a couple more Disney designs to our Society6 shop. Check em out!

Cause after today I’m gonna be blazing! 
After today we’ll be high!
After today my brain’sll be baking!
If I don’t faint I’ll be fine!
I’ve got forty more minutes of sitting through lectures,

Then down with the textbooks,
And up with the lighters,
Just think of all the time I’ve been losing,
Finding the right kind of strain,
Things will be going my way after today.
She looked right to me,
And who could blame her?
I got a new piece,
plus a pound of kush that’ll turn you to mush.

Good Morning,

Hope everyone had a good night sleep and feel refreshed today. It’s Tuesday, yay ! Hope everyone covers up and dresses warmly, the weather is starting to get a little more cooler out. JUST SAYING IT IS SWEATER WEATHER OUT, so hell lets enjoy it as well. 

If you have school or work, enjoy it and do something different today. Time seems to be flying by.

Hope everyone else enjoys the rest of their day as well. Sun is out, so guns out !:P Or just smile 

Tuesday Morning Song Motivation: Flawless - Beyonce

Tuesday Inspirational Quote: Start Each Day With A Grateful Heart

Lots of Love 

Kate Love

You’ve got to remember that
it is not an achievement
to self-destruct
and that comparing yourself
or your life
to other people
with similar problems
is never going to give you
an accurate picture
or enable you
to be proud
of the fact
you woke up this morning
and got breakfast
and you didn’t hurt yourself last night.
—  N.J., When bad feels like good.
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