*passes-out*

Here’s a list of AUs cause I’m bored
  • “I thought this was my car but it isn’t and you’re passed out in the backseat and I don’t know and 3 states later you finally wake up” au
  • “I picked up your drink instead of mine on accident and you noticed but for some reason didn’t tell me until I drained the glass” au
  • “You ran out of toilet paper in your dorm room and apparently you’ve been yelling for help for hours and I’m the only one who’s noticed” au
  • “I’m your teacher and you were on your phone so I took it up and it seems you were reading fanfiction that I wrote” au
  • “My mom forced you to come over because she thinks I don’t have enough friends” au
  • “You caught me reading billdip fanfiction and now I have to explain to you why I ship a teenage boy with a floating triangle” au
  • “We have to work on a school project together and you’re not doing anything but you’re my crush so I can’t say anything” au
  • “I didn’t do my homework last night so do you mind if I copy off of yours?” au
  • “We’re at a sleepover and last night when you fell asleep I drew on you with sharpie and now it’s not coming off” au
  • “We have the same phone cases and I accidentally picked up and went home with your phone and you have some very interesting selfies on here” au
  • “I’m having an existential crisis so I’m laying on the floor and you just tripped over me and I’m so sorry” au 
  • I’m still fully convinced that Sanji is the lost prince of a well known country in the North Blue.
  • Sanji’s first love is the ocean.  Then it’s cooking.  And then it’s astronomy.  *Don’t mind me editing this because I am a horrible Sanji fan.  The ocean.  Sanji’s first love is the ocean. Then it’s cooking and then astronomy.  Call me out on these things guys.*
  • Sanji knows the names of almost all the constellations in the night sky.  He remembers lonely nights when his parents were off at parties and he’d been left in his room.  He would sneak out onto the roof to stare at the stars.  The butler taught him their names.
  • Zeff didn’t know how much Sanji liked the stars until he found the small blonde passed out on the deck of the restaurant with a small blanket.
  • Sanji enjoys the night watch on the Thousand Sunny.  Sometimes he’ll swap out with other people just so he can enjoy the night sky.
The signs as pizza toppings
  • Aries:meat lover's special- a hardy and satisfying topping that ain't for everyone.
  • Taurus:pepperoni- a delicious classic that your mom loves!
  • Gemini:half pepperoni, half cheese- everyone loves it! Until the half they wanted is gone.
  • Cancer:white onions- as you bite in, you feel a tear in your eye. This wasn't what your life was supposed to be.
  • Leo:hamburger- fabulous yet over the top. After only a slice, you feel over indulgent and bloated. You avoid the rest of the pizza pie all night. It was too good to last.
  • Virgo:arugula- so much more healthy than regular pizza. So much more pure.
  • Libra:bacon- delicious af but you are passed out next to a toilet at 2 am after vomiting. The betrayal sets in.
  • Scorpio:garlic clove- you're iffy about trying this but once you do you can never go back.
  • Sagittarius:french fries- your friend had munchies and decided to get a fry pizza. It was actually pretty good.
  • Capricorn:cheese- it's not boring, god damnit, it's a masterpiece!
  • Aquarius:anchovy- who the fuck ordered anchovy pizza? Are you trying to be unique? Sophisticated? This is... actually tasty.
  • Pisces:pineapple- sweet and perfect. Why don't more people love it?
I’m always going to remember the pain I felt when you left. That pain will follow me around and lurk in corners of my mind for the rest of my life. I will always remember falling asleep on a wet pillow case from the tears or the physical pain I felt as I tried to cry you out of me. I remember collapsing on my bedroom floor sobbing as I drank an entire bottle of wine only to pass out. I did everything to get you out of me. From the kisses I gave out to get the taste of you out of my mouth to the clothes you loved on me to avoid your memory, I did so much to dissociate myself from you. I wanted you out of my mind and body. The memories of the pain I felt stayed though.
—  Confessions of a Pure Soul
Hello? (Nate)

I pushed the key into the lock of my apartment and pushed the door open, immediately taking off my shoes and putting my things down. There was terrible traffic coming home, and i just wanted to take a shower and watch movies in my bed until i passed out.

I put my hair in a messy knot and made my way into the kitchen, trying to find the microwave popcorn. On my tippy-toes, the faint noise of my shower running made me freeze in the uncomfortable position. Did I leave the shower on this morning? Impossible. That meant that someone was in my apartment. Instead of grabbing popcorn, i grabbed a frying pan, and quietly made my way to the bathroom. The stranger hummed lightly, and i trembled as i pushed the door open.I raised my weapon behind my head, counted to three silently, and ripped open the curtain.

We screamed at the same time, but as soon as i realized it was Nate, i opened both of my eyes and sighed deeply. “Shit, Nate! I almost peed myself!” My free hand held my chest, feeling the rapid pulse beneath. He laughed, shutting the water off. “You scared the shit out of me too, (y/n).” He grabbed the towel off of the rack. His hair flopped over his forehead with water droplets rolling down his body. “Nice weapon by the way.” He kissed me and made his way into the bedroom, leaving me red in the face, and hiding a frying pan behind me.

darthmelyanna asked:

Regina passes the curse by playing chess (or Diplomacy?) by mail. Legends of the mysterious woman in Maine who crushes all opponents optional.

Micro Fic: When the Internet Came to Storybrooke.

The day the curse updated the town’s technology and Regina found herself with an email address and internet access was the best moment of her life.  Well, before Henry came along.  Not that it made the world any less boring.  How many times could she sit through the same school board meeting and pass out awards for the same winner of the same fourth grade spelling bee.

But what she could do was play chess.  Really well.  It was one of those things she’d hated doing when she was a child.  Her mother insisted she play and insisted she won.  She’d had two tutors fired when they didn’t prove challenging enough opponents for Regina to excel.  Or rather, at the time, Regina hoped they’d just been fired.  One never knew with Cora.

At first there were usenet groups, and then webrings, and list serves.  She played in the evening after finishing up city business.  She played during very dull meetings with people she’ hated.  Which was everyone so she played a lot.

The first time she beat a world champion the online chest community figured it was a fluke.

The tenth time some MIT students in the chess world tried to find her.  But hackers were no match for the Dark Curse that hid the town.  Once, she heard after the fact, two reporters from the Boston Globe had driven up and down the Maine coast chasing a human interest story and never found her.

Eventually, when Henry came and she was playing less, most people had decided she wasn’t real anyway.  Just some advanced computer program.  Maybe a Pentagon war game computer.  Maybe the funding had been cut or the project shut down.

But really… her little prince took up more of her attention than chess pieces ever could.

Oh man imagine

Confused about his sexuality!Steve waking up in the future, looking up his girlfriend

Only to find out she got married, briefly in the 50s, to a man named Daniel. No children. Divorced, but they remained close friends until he passed away.

He finds out she adopted her brothers kids at some point, probably later in life than most women in the 60s/70s would have liked to have become mothers, led this huge and exciting spy life, and then

Then he sees something along the lines of ‘her life partner Angela Martinelli, big Hollywood actress, and advocate for equal rights for the gay community.’

And he follows links and reads more about Peggy identifying as bisexual and then follows more links and is like

'Omg it’s me’

So Peggy is still helping him grow and be sure of himself, 70 years later.

meetan asked:

kagehina!

Hoot! KageHina… let’s see… I have to think about this. Since I always feel like I ship things oddly compared to others. xD

How they first met: We all know how they meet. It was in middle school, during Hinata’s first match ever! Their hearts went doki doki and the rest was set in stone. (Ohmygod shut me up now xD)
Where their first date was: It was a mess. They were awkward and they couldn’t hold a conversations for more than five minutes without getting into an argument. However, it all ended up well once they realized they should just act like they normally do. 
When they had their first kiss: Kageyama turned red and nearly passed out. Hinata panicked and it almost turned into a disaster xD
Who cooks: They both cook, but Hinata a little more often than Kageyama. Since Hinata had to take care of Natsu at times, he’s not so bad with making a decent tasting meal.
Who proposed: Kageyama. He threw a volleyball at Hinata’s face that read “Will you marry me” And Hinata threw it back (Hit Kageyama on the head), and it read “Yes.”
The dominate one: Both. Sometimes Kageyama takes control, other times its Hinata. They like to mix things up.
Their favorite pass time together: Other than volleyball, I want to say going to the gym and working out. Sometimes they go out with Natsu and play with her at the park near by. Mostly a game of Natsu being a princess and Hinata having to save her from the evil dark lord Kageyama.
Who kissed who first: Hinata. He got fed up for throwing hints that were not working at all, so one day he just grabbed Kageyama by the collar of his shirt and planted one on him. And that went… “well” xD
Who is the flirt: Kageyama is the flirt, but his pick up lines are not the best. They leave Hinata as a confused orange peep who doesn’t understand if Kageyama is in fact flirting or not.
Who is the romantic: Neither. They both suck at being romantic, or by what we would call romantic. However, if it were on the terms of their strange way of showing romance, I would say Kageyama is a tad bit more romantic than Hinata is.
Who wakes up first: I want to say Hinata. Hinata is an early riser, since he lives so far from the high school, he would be use to waking up at the really crazy early hours. Kageyama can wake up early as well, but not 4-5am like Hinata can.
Who comforts who the most: They comfort each other. If one is feeling sad, down or just plain shitty, the other will do everything they can to make them at least smile a real smile again. They make sure to let each other know they are their for one another, even on their worst of days.
The cuddler: Hinata. Hinata really loves to cuddle, Kageyama doesn’t mind it. He actually loves it, but Hinata is the one to more likely voice he wants cuddles and simply latch on to Kageyama like a koala.
The big spoon: Both. They like to hold each other and mostly sleep face to face. However, somethings they switch it up, leaving either Kageyama or Hinata as the big spoon. It all depends on the mood and what feels comfortable for them.

I’m gonna take the jeep down to the dunes and see how many beers I can drink before I pass out. All are welcome who think they can drink more than me and/or can bring pizza.

izzu-eats-ass asked:

My dick has been erect for over 3 years, when should I seek medical help? It gets annoying knocking stuff off shelves when I turn around and passing out constantly because there is no blood in the head above my neck!

snap it like celery

copperblaster asked:

I was wondering. If Alethrion's split part was"Greed," then what traits did each of the gods he slayed represent? And what would Vito and Wilhelm be if they passed through the mirror?

There are many gods, not just the ones we saw in front of the Mirror of Truth. The ones in the room are the Godess of Fire, the God og muscles, The God of Science, the God of Time, the God of Water, the God of Sleep, the God of Rocks and the God of Kindness.

If Vito and WIlhelm entered the Mirror of Truth then I´m sure it would would let them pass without dragging anything out of them or become solid in order to protect them from Alethrion´s Greed - they learned that the journey was the true reward. Alethrion had a curse put on him because of what he had become and for killing the gods. If you read the update from yesterday here on tumblr or the Kickstarter then you can see that it wasn´t the first time he killed gods, the first one he slayed, Kahltofal, actually granded him powers before he started his journey.

Update: NSFW will be posted later tomorrow while Seduce Me gets submitted.

I have literally been staring and typing away at SM first from 1-3:30AM, then from 12pm to Now (10:00pm), fixing every error that has been shown to me. It’s a lot of work yes, but I believe it’s worth the fix in order to make Seduce Me’s debut into Steam a GOOD one.

However, I am mentally exhausted.

I will be staying up as long as I can fixing the remaining errors and editing some scenes along with adding some GUI and one more secret specifically made for the Steam version of the game. After that, I will submit it to Steam then pass the hell out.

So, the NSFW will be posted sometime tomorrow alongside the update if SM got through into Steam or not.

I like the idea of Kagami confessing his feelings for Aomine when he’s drunk. Like he’s a complete lightweight and becomes clingy, so when confesses he does it in front of all their friends and unabashedly kisses the living lights out of Aomine. Yet, the next day he doesn’t understand why everyone keeps giving him congrats nor why Aomine won’t look him in the eye.