anonymous asked:

I don't think its PR stunt anymore. We have to quit fooling ourselves now. Its done. Its fucking done. I am a mess. I don't even know why I am messaging you but I just need some help. I am setting myself up for more conspiracy theories but I just need to know your opinion on what has happened. I trust you.

Hi Anonymous,

I’m flattered that you trust me, but in the gentlest way I can say: if you don’t want this stunt to fuck with you, either get it out of your head that we are talking “conspiracy theories” when there is overwhelming hard evidence and thousands of words of careful analysis to back up the fact that this is a stunt; or walk away, take a deep breath and look at the big picture.  We ain’t talking out of our asses here.  We saw this coming.

As I have already said, we have long been practically massaged, lubricated and prepped for this like a smutty Larry/Ziam fanfiction.  Let’s see:

I don’t know what’s more frustrating: this “quitting” stunt, the protracted management transition, or folks continually getting swept up in it like we ain’t seen this shit before, like the weather ain’t already been forecasted.  This shit is obnoxious, tiring and just annoying as hell.  I be like

Me: fenris is so cute with an undercut
*thinks about it all night*
*wakes up*
Me: ugh pretty boys with undercuts <3 <3
*remembers i have undercut*
Me: i’m a pretty boy with an undercut!
Me: wait a minute
*is not, in fact, a boy**