So my friend was pretty sick with an unatrally high temperature, and that means a trip to the emergency room.
He’s been back there for over an hour and a half. Poor thing. But he has a mask on and is pretending to be Bane from Batman.
While I was waiting for him, a lady was wheeled out into the waiting area. I could tell she was a character, and I couldn’t have been more right.
Her first words, I shit you not, were “I’m just going to go home, throw back some shots of whiskey and put my guns under my pillow”. The nurse looked alarmed, and told her not to get too drunk. The lady responded “oh don’t worry, I won’t be too drunk to shoot ‘em in the kneecap. Guy won’t know what hit ‘em hahaha”
She asked me what I was doing, and I told her I was crocheting. She told me I have the patience of a saint, and that I should sleep with one eye open. Apparently the government knows where I sleep and can take my medication at anytime. Hooligans, all of them.
She then went on to tell me about the good ole days, back when we used horses to get around. “Back then we didn’t worry about no goddamn car maniacs out to kill everyone”. She admitted she was 54 years old.
I sat quietly listening to this woman go on about how the world is going to die and this is the end of life as we know it. Great stuff to listen to at the hospital…
My favorite event happened moments ago. She was on the phone with someone, and she was complaining of the service at this er. “This place is useless. Government run service and they still didn’t give me my medications. I’m going to need all of my guns tonight, I ain’t sleeping unprotected. People being jackasses everywhere now. *pause* no, no, A**** is picking me up, unless he got in a car crash and died. That would be my luck today. Idiots, all of them. *pause* I’m in the waiting room. I can’t say shit like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, fuck you too. Idiot”.
This woman is just, I have no words. She left after telling the entire waiting room that she should have sued the hospital because she almost died. What a great exit. Bravo, lady.