I just wanted to share my experience of having The 1975 soundtracking my life for the past year and how it affected me and made me evolve, in a good way I hope.
To me The 1975 doesn’t really exist on itself. I’s an imagery we’ve all created in our heads and each one is different from one another.
I wanted to share what’s mine and why they matter so much to me, even if words never seem to catch exactly what I think (what’s more when you’re a Frenchie writing in English - explaining the upcoming grammatical mistakes haha- but yep they need to know they’re loved in France even though they’re not as popular as in the UK/US and still playing small venues here). I guess I’ll have to start this the same way i started my letter to Matty, with that beautiful quote from Morrissey “I lost myself to music at a very early age, and I remained there.”
Music is all about feelings and, as much as I am a lover of words, they will never be as powerful as feelings. When you come back from an incredible gig and afterwards you’re trying to explain it to your friends, there will always be a gap between what you have felt and the message you are able to convey, because they weren’t there and of course will never be as affected as you have been. That’s why most of the time I tend to keep everything inside, I kinda gave up on explaining myself. But that’s alright, I guess some feelings still can be shared (to some extent) when you’re talking to people who experienced the same things.
So I’ll try to explain why I’m definitely not the same person as I was a year and a half ago, small changes making a big difference at the end ; and how much I owe The 1975 and what they subconscioulsly provoked in my head and my heart.
One year and a half ago, I started listening to Chocolate and Girls, then to The 1975 album which, at first, was to me a weird and obscure combination of ambient sounds and kinda criptic words. Then I started listening more carefully to those lyrics and “getting it”. It quickly became the soundtrack to my life. That’s such a cliché thing to say, especially in that fandom, but hands down to Matty for using the right word to describe the power of music. He was actually the first artist I know who used that word to describe music and I finally understood what I’ve been searching for years through music. A soundtrack to my romanticized life and my inner dream world.
I don’t only listen to The 1975 (ever though I’ve been listening - and dancing of course^^ - to them everyday since I’ve discovered them, and never got tired of it, which will never ceaze to amaze me). We all know there are another great bands outta here, Yet that particular band clicked and connected with what I deeply am, and also what I discovered in myself. That fandom became a second family. Once again a band is all about projecting your romanticized vision of life, that whole idolization thing combined with our own insecuties amplifying our moods and the way we interact with people.. I guess the right band can quickly becomes the actualization and personification of some idealistic vision. It’s a way of getting over our own problems by having faith and hope that we’re not the only one feeling this way ; also realizing that even the artists we admire and put on a pedestal, can have weaknesses.
In that way we’re all the same, even if I suppose we all feel different ways about music or certain lyrics. So yeah, a long journey took me there. I have dratiscally changed since the past year, thanks to that album and that (never-ending) tour.
To me it was the triggering factor for that kind of existential crisis but in a good way. I could make a list of what I’ve finally achieved throughough this year or done or finally understood. Above all, I think I’ve taken good habits that will last a lifetime. Some of these things probably won’t seem seem to have nothing whatsoever to do with the band but I tell you it was all motivated by The 1975 (in my usual wicked way haha) ; with no orders, I’ve started exercising and eathing healthier and taking care of my body ; I finished university and then I had to spent a lot of time alone at home to study the most important exam of my life (not gonna lie I’m a terrible loner, if that year taught me something that’s it haha) but also forced myself to spend more time with my family and friends. It was all about getting out of my comfort zone and doing things by myself and for myself. In parallel, I became less self-absorbed as I started believing again in “human interaction” after Matty pointed it in some interviews.
Of course I enjoyed the time spent alone, took the opportunity to go to many gigs all by myself, traveling to Swirzerland twice, flying to Paris ; each time making incredible memories and meeting people I will never forget. I’m getting my first tattoo (1975 related of course) very soon. I gained confidence in myself as I became more aware and took control of my own feminity and the power we can have on men, my obsession with the idea of duality being stronger than ever - for ex I love the idea of a girl dressing like a boy and being androgynous (that’s the way I look I can’t help it haha) but still very feminine. Changed my haircut. Changed my haircolor. Leant to take my time and stop doing things in a hurry as if my days were counted. Took driving lessons again after having being forced to give up at some point in my life because of the personal problems I’ve been facing some years ago. After many years, finally cut ties with the 2 most toxic people in my life (well you could say they’re still around in a way, especially when one of those is a family member ; but I gave up on them, and once you stop expecting something from someone and understand you can’t change the past, I guess you’re free from them). And I feel so much better now.
I’m the kind of helpless romantic who whould say “see, that was all because of The 1975!!” and sounding like a child while saying that haha. But it was fundamental to me. And I try to keep in mind that I am the one who did it, step by step ; they were the dynamic and the thing that kept me going but at the end I was the one who did all those things and I have to thank myself first. I chose to take this band as a chance to start all over again and I achieved what I planned to do, step by step, by making small changes and challenging myself everytime I could.
I was lucky that throughout this year I’ve received many comments to keep me going. That kind of “existensial crisis” isn’t in my mind ; I’ve received so many proofs and testimonials, that I evolved for the better, it’s unbelievable and also a bit weird. Can you believe it, my own family didn’t recognize me, whether it’s physically or in the way I interact now with people. I’d say I’m more an adult. I still think one of the worst things in life is when people don’t notice the inner changes in you ; when a person has evolved in her mind, trying to change for the better, trying to find a new mindset, but there is still an old image and a different perception and a gap between what the person may think she is and, I won’t say what she actually is but what other people see of her. Do you know what I mean? Omg, that gap is the worst thing ever. Because we all have a tendancy to hide some parts of ourselves to be accepted, constantly present ourselves in the best way possible, fearing that other people loving us less if they discover some parts we don’t like about ourselves. Don’t. In one of his songs Julian Casablancas is saying « I’m worried I might have used tricks to to make you love me more ». Play with your image, have fun with it but stay true to yourself and what your heart commands you. Faking it or hiding your true self? It never lasts, plus all this time you’ll neve feel completely at ease in the place people have chosen for you. Of course “society calls on us to play convincing roles” but we still have choices to create our own path.
You can be whatever you want, you can create your own self individual and change, as long as it’s genuine and it’s your own choice and isn’t influenced by anybody. The person i was before didn’t correspond to my inner self and I believe that’s why I had troubles and a lot of parallels with Matty’s personal history that I won’t go further about. On the other hand, being inspired by other people is one the best thing ever, being open-minded about every culture, never losing the thirst for new experiences ; keep being interested, curious, excited about literally everything, constantly evolving and trying to be a better person is one of the best things in life and what keep us alive. And young haha
I can finally say that I’m now at peace with my own self, no matter what other people may think or say. If I compare myself to other people I’ve always have the tendency to do things “late” and after everyone, but I don’t blame myself for it anymore. I’ve understood that sometimes a slow pace is better, what’s important is the journey and how you do it.
If you think about it, I actually spent 5 years of my life (and lost them forever, my main regret) trying to slowly kill myself (through a way I won’t develop here, no need to romanticize it this time), it has been very dark and I could have been one of those who never survived it. After the Paris gig I couldn’t meet Matty (I did it briefly in Lausanne) but I gave Thomas, a member of the staff, a book by Hemingway in which I had written a letter on the first pages. On this, I wrote many things, most of them praising Matty and the boys, because I didn’t want it to be too dramatic. I only wrote “Music saved my life once, but I needed to live again, and I did it thanks to The 1975." That’s it. After saving myself, it took me a few years to understand it was only the first step and the next one was to enjoy life as I did when I was a kid, before all the drama. Allowing myself to live and feel some kind of "innocent joy" again.
Matty somehow makes everything seem so easy. But it’s not that easy, there is so much work and dedication behind it. This band has offered to us fans, almost every day, a magnificient show, magnificient memories ; on countless occasions I’ve read things like “best time ever” “best night of my life” and it was genuine, you can feel the love from the fans and I hope they know how much they are truly loved . I’ve been a fan of some great bands but I have been waiting for 10 years for a band like The 1975, and a rockstar such as Matty. Dont even get me started on the Robbers video, I think we all know what’s it’s all about. On my letter I told Matty I was proud to be from the same generation as him, because I used to look upon others artist or musicians that are much more older than me. But Matty gave me faith in my generation and proved me that the worlds is still full of talented young people, some of them even feeling the responsibility of using their position to raise awareness on some major problems of our times.
I named this “a fan life” ; being a music fan is a strange thing really, and to me, kinda different from being obsessed with movies or books. Much more radical I guess. Our main problem comes from the fact that we know somebody outta here can make us happy but we can’t reach them… whereas characters in books or movies can inspire us but we KNOW they don’t exist for real, we don’t feel as much attached to them so it can more easily blend into our own life. Do you know what I mean? Musicians are real people, those magical sounds are made by people like you and I, and the lyrics that touch us also mean something for another people. The 1975 is much more than a soundtrack because the people and the “human” part is as important of the music to me. That’s a good transition to explain my future tattoo.
On the pic, this is what’s left from my The 1975 gigs (Paris on October 3rd, Lausanne on 23rd). George’s drumstick, Matty’s handwriting for my tattoo.
So here it is, that tattoo is gonna be “lapoesie”.
This post is long enough already and I could spend hours explaining myself, so long story short. “La poesie est dans la rue en couleurs pleines de vie”. “Poetry is in the streets in full living colour”. To me it’s about getting out of your comfort zone because that’s when things happen. If you can, travel, go to concerts, accept all the social interactions and meetings thrown at you because that’s how you make memories and fulffill a life. And find a meaning to your life when you’re going through bad times and are desperate to find a new motivation to start all over again.That tattoo is meant to never forget that everytime I go out of my comfort zone and put myself in danger. that’s when things happened. I wouldn’t say the best things always happen nor that everything always goes according to plan (it would be so boring haha), but at least when I go out, or go meeting other people or visiting new places, I always end being overwhelmed by the beauty of life and the vitality of youth and people and in a way I live throught it . It’s a reminder, for the loner that I am (and I’m the worst…), that it is worth the try, that I have to believe in human interaction. and give a chance to life even it can be hurting or disappointing. Of course, don’t be fooled, at the end we’re all alone but you can learn so many things from people and take the best of it. The 1975 gigs are particularly etched in my memory and will stay forever. Incredible memories incredible people.
Of course, I’m still a work under construction. 2015 is looking scary as so many things will change in my life once again, but I’m ready for it. It’s just that, from now on, I’ll have to search for poetry in the streets all my life and keep having faith in human relationships and that great things are waiting for me in the corner, even in the darkest times. Every person you met has so much to offer and to learn from, each person is a novel on itself. Also, I’m not forgetting this website. It’s a weird world we’ve created here on Tumblr, when I l think of The 1975 songs I don’t particualry think of the music straight away, I also think of people. If you’re still reading this, and if at some point I’ve talked to you, exchanged whether it was 1 or 25 private messages, and you told me a bit of yourself, or about what a song means to you, or about what happened when you met Matty, or about your gig experience… be sure you’re always in my head and that I’ve found a way to have a connection in my mind with you, whether it be while I’m listening to a song or buying a piece of clothing or going to a place. I’m really serious about it. All of you, you’re all there ;) and thank you so much to all of those who ever said nice things to me, you couldn’t believe how much it meant.
You’ve guessed it, I’m quite fascinated by self-alanysis and the idea of evolution. a bit like Matty. I’ve changed so much since listening to that record and making parallels with my life experiences, whether it be love, parties, friendships, guilt, etc… Now I listen to it as a testimonial of these times, of this whole year, like an old self. This album is like a freeze of a moment in time. I believe that’s exactly the same for fans and artists and that’s one of the reasons why there is a connection : when the artist expresses his own feelings and it beautifully connects to other people AT THE SAME MOMENT OF TIME and a kind of magic happens. Of course, it won’t last. We change, we evolve, we wake up one day and we don’t feel as hard those lyrics or those songs, but we know they helped us in our way. Morrissey was right "don’t forget the songs that made you cry / and the songs that saved your life/ yes you’re older now/ but they were the only ones who ever stood by you" (The Smiths, Rubber Ring)
I’m sure that 10, 20 years from now, people will fall in love with The 1975 album the same way we did. We’ll be able to proudly say "I was there when the Robbers music video came out and let me tell you man those were the days!!” ;) That’s why I think Matty and all of us, we’ll never feel the same as we did listening to that album this year. It’s all past, in a way, but the future is very exciting too. I like that idea of a fanbase evolving and growing up to a sound of a band. I’m so fascinated by lyrics and how they can be so powerful and being a way to tell people what you feel even though you don’t feel strong enough to say it in real life. In a way, it’s not music that I love, I’m in love with bands, and people, and the human beings behind it and what it shows of them and of a time. The 1975 aesthetic and lyrics connected with so many people, as some sort of testimony of our generation and our actual society.
Another thing I wanted to say, to end this. As some of you may have noticed here, I’m a fashion lover, and The 1975 even influenced that and I have now adopted a far more minimalistic look. I don’t wear allblack to disconnect from reality or some other explanation Matty (or The Neighbourhood, a band that has a similar aesthetic and approach to things, at least in the way they like to have control of their own music and aesthetic and put a lot of thoughts into it) gave in interviews. Nor because it seems to be on trend these days, nor because it’s timeless. It’s just that I genuinely think that it helps us concentrate on what’s essential, whether it is what the person has to say, the way she acts, the faces, the eyes. When a person is wearing neutral colors it’s easier to focus on what’s essential as your mind isn’t distracted by anything else. That’s why I love black and think it’s very brave and powerful. I tend to adopt the same minimalistic approach in life : quality over quantity, We live under a society which offers us so many choices and we’re overwhelmed by mass consumption, and to think that we can do anything we want, be everyone, achieve everything, it can easily drive us crazy. I try to think simple on every thing I have control over. Life is complicated enough. That’s something I’ve understand through The 1975 aesthetic and their minimalistic approach. You can say “Oh, so Tumblr!” Yes, it is ;) but it won’t stop me from learning some things from it and taking them with me haha, there is good is everything ;)
Don’t worry, this is the end. Thank you for those who are reading THIS RIGHT NOW I CANT BELIEVE YOU TOOK THE TIME THANK YOU I LOVE YOU I HOPE I DIDNT BOTHER YOU. I somehow wish the boys would know about this post and what they provoked in me, they need to know they’ve changed people’s lives - but I’m sure they do (I met Matty in such a hurry and I didn’t even have enough time to tell him I was the one who gave him in Paris -through Thomas - a book by Hemingway. I just hope at least he’ll remember meeting briefly in Lausanne a blonde girl wearing the Robbers shirt. (now brunette haha).
Much love from France to all (and if you skipped all of it just to read the ending : that’s fine I totally understand you haha) xxxx