I was the anon who sent you that message. I guess what your saying makes sense. But there's one thing I don't get, your CSA reply. How can anyone really trust that you're saying the truth? Just in case you are telling the truth, I don't want to trigger you or anything, but you don't seem like you were abused. The way you talk isn't the way I've seen other abused kids talk. And if you were abused, why didn't your friends or family member believe you? Why didn't you tell the police?
Let me pause you there and give you this really stern warning: I do not know if it is due to you being on anon, but that gives you NO EXCUSE to ask such personal, harmful questions as if I owe you an answer.
I do not owe you or any other Anti-Hidashists an explanation. None of us ever did. But some of us are choosing to give you one, including me. Please do not abuse this more than you already have.
And don’t you worry about triggering me, anon. You already have, so I’m ready for any question you ask.
Now…I am NOT giving you any more information than I already have and, frankly, that was way more than what I was comfortable giving. The only reason why I gave that much is because I thought it would be necessary in order to establish why I honestly believe Hidashi is not a representative of CSA.
I am comfortable enough to give you these, though:
1) You’re right. You have no cause to believe me. I could be lying to you. I wonder, however: Would you be asking this same question to someone who has been sexually abused as a child and used that history to say why Hidashi is wrong?
2) My friends did believe me. But I mentioned it in passing only; I am quick to deflect and they are quicker to accept it. SO PLEASE, to anyone and everyone reading this: If someone mentions something like abuse, no matter how lightly or how blankly they say it, TAKE IT SERIOUSLY. Don’t let them fool you into thinking they want you to ignore them.
3) Why didn’t my family member believe me? That explanation is too personal. So here: »People are too quick to believe that the accused is innocent, even if there is plenty of supporting evidence«.
4) Why didn’t I tell the police? You don’t need my reason. But here: »30% of children typically don’t mention their abuse at all and 75% of those who do, do so by accident«.
Finally, anon, due to your startling ignorance of CSA—despite claiming you are trying to defend it against Hidashi—allow me to comment that you seem to be relying way too much on Hollywood and popularized media.
There may be a guideline on how to cope with abuse and basic signs of how to tell when someone was/is abused, but to say we will all follow the expected step-by-step procedures like mere rotating gears in a machine? That’s not just insulting, but is also fundamentally misunderstanding what it means to be human.
Because CSA victims are more than “victims”, we’re people and people are—above all—diverse. That means some of us will:
- Underwhelm the experience so that it does seem so bad, while making inappropriate jokes about it
- Or still make inappropriate jokes about it, but this time, talk about it like it never even happened to us
- Or maybe we’ll react defensively and explosively when triggered by something
- Or react distantly and nonchalantly when faced with a trigger of ours
And depending on several factors—like our mood, who we’re talking to, how we’re being asked, where we are located, etc.—our reaction fluctuates. One moment, we can shrug our shoulders and scoff about it, but the next, we’ll run into our rooms needing a moment to recuperate alone.
It’s not being moody or fickle. It’s not a character flaw that we need to “fix”. It’s just human nature; we may be beings of stubborn habit, but not necessarily of constant predictability.
I hope that clears things up, anon? I’m kinda drained with trying to figure out how to answer you, so this is the best reply you’ll get out of me.