$758

opencult asked:

Sara, 1. you rule 2. I'm looking for a men's leather jacket for about $600-800. I was set on buying it from All Saints but I'm not crazy about any of them. Somewhere between the All Saints Hudson (I like the flaps but it's too busy) and the All Saints Bomber (Love it but kinda want the Hudson flaps on it). Any suggestions?

first, stop it–you rule. second, i always have suggestions and your particular budget gave me a lot to play with. ssense is currently holding an impressive seasonal sale featuring many options of men’s leather jackets to choose from but i sought out classic styles with little hardware.

  1. mcq alexander mcqueen, $758 (from $1,515)
  2. diesel, $560 (from $800)
  3. blk dnm, $597 (from $995)
The Most Human Color

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/1RHVNei

by autoeuphoric (FreezingRayne)

Dave Strider is a wall of mirrored lenses and tight smirks and ironic tilts of the head. He does not look at you with blasted, vulnerable shock, he does not have windows to his soul.

(Karkat walks in on Dave naked, shades and all.)

Words: 758, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English



read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/1RHVNei
#TeenChoice nomination stats

All statistics of nomination votes for One Direction in all applicable categories.
(as of ET 9:05PM, 1st June / GMT+10 11:05AM, 2nd June)
Go vote! Nominations end on 2nd June :)

  1. #ChoiceMusicGroupMale: One Direction → 2,966,758 (+804,601) (out of 6m)
  2. #ChoiceSongGroup: Steal My Girl → 397,313 (+15,534) (out of 670k)
  3. #ChoiceLoveSong: Night Changes → 109,634 (+18,740) (out of 233k)
  4. #ChoiceMusicNextBigThing: Zayn Malik → 338,478 (+186,123) (out of 1m)
  5. #ChoiceSummerSong: No Control  → 590,036 (+26,497) (out of 1.2.m)
  6. #ChoiceSummerMusicGroup: One Direction → 172,456 (+32,073) (out of 399k)
  7. #ChoiceSummerTour:  One Direction → 88,867 (out of 384k)
  8. #SocialMediaKing: Louis Tomlinson  → 95,794 (+17,650) (out of 247k)
  9. #ChoiceTwit: Liam Payne →  111,318 (+19,475) (out of 378k)
  10. #ChoiceFandom: One Direction Fans  → 2,971,569 (+716,574) (out of 9m)
  11. #ChoiceMaleHottie: Harry Styles → 460,555 (+47,991) (out of 1.4m)
  12. #ChoiceComedian: Harry Styles → 56,149 (+2871) (out of 111k)
756 名前:おさかなくわえた名無しさん@\(^o^)/[sage] 投稿日:2015/05/25(月) 21:37:28.01 ID:tnSKMb7r.net [¼]
隣家に青梅を盗まれた。
それを隣家の子供(17歳、息子の同級生)が食って泡吹いて病院へ
なぜか隣家のオヤジが草刈の鎌とライターと新聞紙持参で襲撃
庭でタバコ吸ってた俺が切りつけられて腹に鎌が刺さる
火をつけられるもいざという時のために用意していた消火器で早期消火
隣家オヤジに威嚇されるも慌てていたため消火器でぶん殴る(顎と鼻と前歯が折れたらしい)
血まみれの俺を見て俺父がひっくり返って腰強打
親子で入院
後日息子が学校で隣家の息子にハンマーで殴られて腕と肋骨骨折
その際反撃して相手の弾が片方潰れる大惨事
親子三代で同じ病室になった
以上が一年前に起こった事件で、庭の梅がそろそろ収穫なんで記念

758 名前:おさかなくわえた名無しさん@\(^o^)/[sage] 投稿日:2015/05/25(月) 22:00:02.80 ID:DMqAqe8s.net [½]
>>756
九州は福岡ですか?

759 名前:おさかなくわえた名無しさん@\(^o^)/[sage] 投稿日:2015/05/25(月) 22:04:53.59 ID:tnSKMb7r.net [2/4]
>>758
東京の山奥です

補足すると隣家の子供は青梅の種まで割って食ったことで泡吹くハメに
隣家オヤジは法科と殺人未遂で逮捕
俺はお咎めなし
隣家の子供は無期限停学
結局退学した
息子はスポーツはやってなくて後遺症も残らないが俺は食べ過ぎ注意と言われ
父は未だに通院している
そのおご引っ越していったけどあとは知らん
慰謝料と治療費はしっかりもらった

760 名前:おさかなくわえた名無しさん@\(^o^)/[sage] 投稿日:2015/05/25(月) 22:11:22.60 ID:rtuhqRqb.net [2/2]
そんな行動規範の隣人と、慰謝料等の負担割合とかでやいやいモメなかったのが衝撃
ちゃんと目撃証人がいたとか、普段からトラブルメーカーとか前科アリとか?

762 名前:おさかなくわえた名無しさん@\(^o^)/[sage] 投稿日:2015/05/25(月) 22:21:01.99 ID:tnSKMb7r.net [¾]
>>760
1.向かいのコンビニについていた防犯カメラに映っていた
2.隣家の奥さんから支払われた
 後日引っ越す前に離婚したという話を聞いた
 隣家の子供は少年院にはいかなかったものの母親は引取りを拒否したとだけきいた
 あとは知らん
3.鎌とライターの指紋、返り血、斬りかかった際の奇声で近所の人が集合などの理由で
 証拠十分だった

ざっくりこのくらいかな
前科の有無とかはわからん

763 名前:おさかなくわえた名無しさん@\(^o^)/[sage] 投稿日:2015/05/25(月) 22:22:24.71 ID:PZ/tmaOz.net [2/2]
無知ですいませんが青梅ってそのまま食べて美味しいものなの?
種を割って中を食べると泡吹いてたおれるような毒とかあるの?

しかし盗み食いしといて逆恨みもいい所だね

764 名前:おさかなくわえた名無しさん@\(^o^)/[sage] 投稿日:2015/05/25(月) 22:23:37.16 ID:YsB1d0ww.net [2/2]
>>763
アミグダリンで検索検索ぅ!

765 名前:おさかなくわえた名無しさん@\(^o^)/[sage] 投稿日:2015/05/25(月) 22:28:18.62 ID:tnSKMb7r.net [4/4]
特に学校でもお咎めは無しです
強いて言うなら入院してた間の勉強が追いつかないとか、腫れもの扱いで彼女ができないとか
息子よそれはお前が俺の息子だからだと言ったら渋い顔されました


>>763
まだ小梅の段階だったので、カリカリ梅とかの感覚だったんだと思います
実だけでそれなりの大きさなら100個単位で食わなければ平気ですが、
青酸が含まれているらしいです
特に種には

あ、しっかり育った梅干の種の中身はくるみのような味がします
Ashton Irwin Short Fic - Yes, Sir Part 3

(photo not mine)

Category - Short Fic

Smut or Fluff? - Tiny bit of fluff c:

Requested? - Nerp c:

Pairing(s) [FC = Fictional Character] - Ashton Irwin/Shauna Irwin[FC], Ashton Irwin/Malia Thorne[FC]

Word Count - 2,758

Summary - Malia and her younger brother, Eric, have had a rough life before  meeting the Irwins. For the past three years, Malia has been working as a  maid for the Irwin Family in order to provide for her and her little  brother. Everything’s going well for her, but that’s only because nobody  knows about her secret crush on the man of the house, Ashton Irwin.

Author’s Additional Comments - I don’t own the name of the school, I’m pretty sure they aren’t real anyway. Anyway, enjoy! I hope you guys like it! c:

Fictional Characters:

Malia Thorne

Eric Thorne

Shauna Irwin

Alice Irwin

Daniella Irwin

Part 1, Part 2

“This is where you live?” Mr. Irwin asked as he pulled into the trailer park.

I only nodded. “That one over there.” I said, pointing to the only one without a screen door. He drove over there and parked in front of it. “C'mon, Eric.” I said.

He started unbuckling his seat belt, and so did Mr. Irwin. I furrowed my eyebrows at Mr. Irwin.

“We don’t have much to pack. You don’t have to get out.” I said to him.

“I know, but I want to help. You clean my house every day, let me do you this favor.” He smiled and got out.

I got out also and dug into my pocket, getting my keys out. I unlocked the door and opened it, letting Eric and Mr. Irwin in first.

“Start packing your clothes, hon.” I said to Eric.

Not like he had much to do. He only has like three, maybe four outfits. Same for me. Within ten minutes, we were done with everything. Our little home was empty, with the exception of the TV. Mr. Irwin told us to leave it, that we didn’t need it. It was an old, cheap set anyway. Like the ones they had back in the 2000s. When it was all said and done, we walked out of the old, run-down trailer. I gave one last look to it before closing the door, locking it, and tossing the keys into the plant.

(*)

“You two can have the guest room down here for now. We’ll see about getting you into school tomorrow.” Mr. Irwin told us when we got in the house.

“We’re going to school? But I don’t know anything.” Eric said nervously.

“Buddy, that’s what school is for.” Mr. Irwin chuckled. “Now, you two know where the bathroom is so before you go to bed, I want you in the shower. Understand?” He ordered, and we both nodded. “And if you get hungry, the kitchen’s available. I’ll be upstairs so just knock if you need anything.”

After that, he bid us good night, gave us hugs, and went upstairs.

“Are we going to live here now, Malia?” Eric asked as he set his suitcase on the floor and toed off his shoes.

“Not forever, obviously. Its only until I have enough money to support us both, and then we can get our own place again.” I replied.

Hopefully, it won’t be long. I can hardly control my teenage hormones around Mr. Irwin when I’m here thirteen hours a day. Imagine how bad I’d be if I was here 24/7.

“Good. I don’t like being around Mrs. Irwin. I wish she’d leave to like, Mars or something.” He mumbled the last part.

I chuckled. “Don’t we all.”

(*)

I woke up to a knock on the door.

“Malia, Eric. C'mon, get up. We gotta check you two into school, remember?” I heard Mr. Irwin say on the other side of it.

“Okay.” I said back, using all the energy in my body for that one word.

His footsteps faded away and I turned over to shake Eric awake. He’s a heavier sleeper than me.

“Whaaa?” He said groggily, barely opening his eyes.

“C'mon, we gotta get up. School, remember?” I reminded him and then got out of the bed.

He sat up in the bed and rubbed his eyes, sitting there slouched over. “This mattress feels really good.” He whined.

“I know.” I said while stretching. “But school’s only about 6 or 7 hours a day. We can come back to it when we get home.” I smiled. “C'mon. Wash up.”

I opened my suitcase and got out my toiletries, leaving the room to head to the bathroom. I started brushing my teeth when Eric walked in a moment later, getting ready to brush his also.

“Why are they here, Ashton?!” We heard Mrs. Irwin yell to Mr. Irwin, as usual.

“I told you why! They need help, Shauna! I want to help them and I’m gonna need you to be okay with that!” He yelled back.

“No, you know what?! I don’t need this! I don’t need you! I don’t need them! I don’t need any of this! I’m out of here!”

“Don’t let the door hit you on the way out!” Ashton shouted. “Actually, let it! Maybe it’ll knock your heart into working properly!”

A moment later, the door slammed. Me and Eric widened our eyes at each other and continued awkwardly brushing our teeth.

(*)

“Have fun, buddy. And remember this: just because you may not know as much as the other kids doesn’t make you any less smart or special than what they are. And if they try to make you feel bad because you can’t answer all the questions they can, just tell them ‘its better to be life-smart than school-smart’.” I told Eric when Mr. Irwin finished signing the papers.

“But I don’t know what that means.” He pouted.

“You’ll understand it sooner or later.” I smiled and kissed his forehead.

He gave me one more hug and then gave Mr. Irwin a hug before taking the lady’s hand and letting her lead him into the school. He looked back at us and we both waved, and he waved back.

“You really are amazing, you know that?” Mr. Irwin spoke up.

I blushed at the compliment, hiding my face from him as we started walking back out to the car. “How?”

“You really care about him. You treat him like he’s your whole world.” He grinned.

I smiled. “He is my whole world. He’s all I have.”

“He was all you had. Now, you’ve got me and the girls.”

(*)

As Mr. Irwin was getting closer and closer to being finished with signing papers, my nerves got stronger and stronger. I guess they were catching up to me now. What I said earlier to Eric is a lot easier for him. He has time to learn what he needs to. Me? I’m supposed to be graduating next year, as a senior. I haven’t been in school since I was thirteen!

“Malia?” Mr. Irwin called, waving a hand in front of my face. “Whoa, hey. What’s wrong?” He asked, noticing my panicked facial expression.

“Do I really need to go to school? I’m fine with working for you for the rest of my life. Really, I don’t mind it. I–”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where’s all this coming from? You were fine just twenty minutes ago.” He said, his eyes getting full of concern.

“I can’t do this, Mr. Irwin. Its too late for me. There’s no way I’m going to be able to graduate on time.”

He sighed and grabbed both of my hands. “Malia, you’re a smart girl. You’re smarter than you give yourself credit for. And its totally fine if you don’t graduate on time, given your situation. Its never too late.” He said softly.

His words slightly comforted me, but I was still sick to my stomach about all of this. It kind of just hit me on how much pressure I’m under.

“Okay.” I nodded anyway. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, sweetie.” He smiled.

My heart jumped at the nickname he called me. He probably didn’t mean anything by it, but I was flipping of happiness on the inside.

“Mr. Irwin, are the papers done?” One of the ladies from the desk asked.

“Oh, yeah.” He got up, papers in hand, and walked over to give them to her. “Here you go.”

She checked them to make sure all the signatures were there and then stood up. She came over to our side of the desk.

“Well, Ms. Malia Alexandra Thorne, welcome to Shiloh Beach High School. We hope you enjoy it here.” She said with a wide smile.

“Excuse me, what time does school end?” Mr. Irwin asked her.

“2:30, Sir.” She said politely.

“Okay. I’ll be parked where my car is right now, okay?” He said, and I nodded.

“Alright, now. Time to show you to your school.” She smiled.

“Have a good day, honey.” Mr. Irwin said to me and he pulled me into a hug, kissing my forehead.

When his lips connected with my skin, I felt as if I could burst. He really doesn’t know what he does to me.

(*)

“And here is your first class.” The lady, who I learned to be Mrs. Alvarez, said as we stopped outside of a classroom after giving me a short tour of the school. “Here’s your schedule.” She handed me a paper with my classes on it.

She wished me good luck and left back to the office. I took a deep, deep breath and opened the door to the classroom, immediately seeing all eyes turn to me. I tried to keep my eyes off the students and tried to find the teacher.

“Over here, dear.” An old lady, probably in her mid-fifties, called to me. I put a smile on my face and walked over to her. “You must be Malia, are you?”

“Yeah, I am.” I said, shortly after finding my voice.

“Well, welcome to Shiloh Beach High School.” She grinned. “Where are you most comfortable sitting?”

“Anywhere is fine.”

“Okay. Well, you can have the seat in the back between Daniel and Kira. Raise your hands, you two.”

I looked around the room, avoiding the awkward stares, and saw two hands raise in the air. I saw the empty seat in between them and went to sit down. I set my bag on the floor and my binder on my desk.

“Hey. You new here?” The guy, Daniel, asked me.

“I thought it was pretty obvious.” I joked.

“No, no. I meant in the area.” He chuckled. “I’ve never seen you around.”

“Oh, no. I’ve lived here for a while. I just don’t get out much.” I shrugged.

“How come?” The girl, Kira, asked me, jumping into the conversation.

“I have a job so I never have time.”

“What do you work as?” Daniel asked.

“I’m a maid.”

“Nice. How much do you get paid?”

“Well, I started off on $10 an hour. Then, he bumped it up to $20 an hour. Then, he bumped it up to $30 an hour, but I only ever got one paycheck out of that because his wife had such a big problem with it. She hates me so much that she demanded him to lower it back down to $10 an hour. She was complaining about money and all that, despite them being the richest family on the block.” I rolled my eyes.

“Wow. What a bitch.” Kira said. “How do you put up with her? I would’ve slapped her mouth off her face.”

I chuckled. “I can’t. She’s one of my bosses and I could be fired.”

“Damn, that sucks.”

“Yeah.”

“On the bright side though, you seem pretty cool. Wanna have lunch with me?” She asked.

“No, screw her.” Daniel chuckled. “Have lunch with me. I’m cooler and better-looking.”

“Danny, we hang out together.” Kira said with an 'are-you-serious’ face.

“I’m still better-looking.” He shrugged.

I laughed. “I like you guys. Yeah, I’ll have lunch with you.”

Wow. Making friends was easier than I thought.

(*)

“So? How was your first day?” Ashton asked as I got in the car.

“Yeah! How was it!” Daniella asked excitedly.

I looked behind me and saw that Alice, Daniella, and Eric were there. Except Eric was gazing out of the window, trapped in space. I decided to just leave him be.

“It was good, surprisingly. I was expecting it to be horrible. I made a few new friends today.” I grinned.

“That’s good. What are their names? Maybe they can come visit at the house some time.” He said, trying to back out of the parking space but having a hard time due to traffic.

“Oh, that’s what I forgot. Kira invited me to a sleepover this weekend. Is it alright if I go?”

Mr. Irwin chuckled. “Malia, I’m your boss, not your father. You can do as you please, as long as you get your work done.”

I squealed in excitement. “Thank you, Mr. Irwin!”

“You’re welcome?” He replied, more in a question form.

(*)

I had just finished dusting off both staircases and was on my way to Mr. Irwin’s room to dust there. When I was about to knock on the door, I heard him yelling over the phone.

“Shauna, its not a big deal! All I wanna do is at least put Malia through school so she can properly take care of her brother! She’s only a child, hon! The only stress she should have is on homework!” He shouted. He gave out an irritated sigh. “You know what, I’m done arguing about this. Come back when you get some sense knocked into you.” He said. After I heard him sigh loudly, I knocked on the door. “Come in.” I, faintly, heard him say.

I opened the door and stepped in. “Just in here to do dusting.” I said.

“Actually, Malia, can you take a break from that for a few minutes? I really, really need a massage right now. If you don’t mind, of course.” He asked tiredly, slouching in his chair.

“Of course, Sir.” I said, setting down the towel and furniture polish.

I walked over to him and stood behind him, gently placing my hands on his shoulders. I began to deeply and slowly massage his tense muscles, humming to myself softly as I did it.

“Wanna vent?” I asked, knowing he probably does.

He sighed before starting. “I feel like she just doesn’t even care about our life together anymore. All we ever do is argue and its about the simplest things. She’s always complaining and she’s always bratty and rude and I’m always the one who apologizes, even if its not my fault. I’ve tried to fix our marriage countless times, but she just doesn’t want to. There seriously has been times where I’ve actually sat down and thought about getting a divorce, but then I always convince myself that its going to get better.”

“You want my advice?” I spoke up. He nodded. “I’m not exactly saying get a divorce, but this has been going on for a couple years now. Even I can see that its not going to get better. I can see how much you’re hurting, Mr. Irwin. You have to let her go.”

“So…get a divorce.” He chuckled.

“I was trying to avoid that.” I laughed.

We laughed for a bit and then it died down. “Maybe I should speak with a divorce attorney tomorrow.”

“Maybe.” I agreed.

It was silent for a minute or two. And then he spoke up again.

“You know, Malia…” He said, spinning around in his chair to face me. “You truly are amazing. You’re so smart and mature for your age. I admire that about you.” He grinned.

I blushed, looking down at the floor. “Thanks.”

“I mean it.” He chuckled. He placed an index finger under my chin and lifted my head back up to look into his eyes. “You truly are amazing.”

It could only be me, but I couldn’t help but noticed that his eyes were flickering back-and-forth from my lips to my eyes. Then, he began leaning in slowly, searching my face for a reaction. My heart started racing in my chest as he inched closer and closer to my lips. When we were less than in inch apart, I felt as if my heart was going to fall out of my butt.

And then he placed his lips on mine.

At first, it was soft and sweet. And I sure as hell didn’t deny him, either. Then, he deepened it slightly and pulled me closer by my hips, standing me in between his legs. He slid his tongue into my mouth and played around with mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling us closer together.

I wasn’t nearly as experienced as he was, but I wasn’t a noob either. I’ve only ever had two other kisses and one make-out session in my life. And this was so much better than all of those.

His large hands started trailing down further, almost to my ass, when his phone started to ring. We both hurriedly pulled our lips away from each other, widening our eyes when we realized what just happened. He was the first to speak.

He cleared his throat. “Um, go finish dusting.” He muttered awkwardly.

I nodded and went back to pick up my supplies, beginning to dust his furniture. 

Rebirth - Optional Bias (2/3)

Because this part was too long I had to extend it to three pieces. This chapter is very sad and heartbreaking, maybe, if you can relate to it.

Listening to sad Naruto OSTs help with the mood. lol

characters: you x optional bias

genre: angst + small amount of smut 

rating: M

word count: 2,758

warnings: mentions of suicide, self-harm and depression 

Part 1 | Part 2 

___________________

9:30 AM. Approximately. Skin and blankets tinted with brightness from the sunshine blooming from the window. Slightly open, allowing a calm breeze engulf the room.

You felt a warmth as you admired the peaceful setting around you. You moved your head softly to your right, wondering if anything from last night was actually real. There was a view that had you taken back, but a sight that made your heart flutter with hope.

(_____) had been resting his body for who knows how long. His eyes closed and his lips parted as he breathed gently. This was a picture that you had seen in your dreams long ago. His arm naturally draped around your waist and pulled you closer, leaving you unable to think straight as he snuggled his way towards you. He let out a few cute moans and smacked his lips together, something that was worth smiling for.

Keep reading