on some real shit, the past month has been insane for me
i got dumped just days before graduation, finished rebranding a tequila company, lost my favorite sweater, lost my job because it was a student position, went to LA to clear my head out, met a really cool jawn, spent all my graduation money, caught up on all the music ive missed in the past like 4+ months, played my first set in SF, met some of the coolest artists/people, and have done nothing but work on tunes for the past week. i also spent my day today reading about the fermi paradox and artificial intelligence and electric cars and all kinds of random shit.
ive also taken the time to act upon some of the things ive been pondering for months now, like trying not to be a hater (mainly music wise because thats really where my energy goes), enjoying myself, and having a better outlook on life like i used to. i realized that my parents and my sisters are my rocks and i can always depend on them. also my friends are the nicest kindest people and i love them to death. theyre like the brothers i never had.
recently ive also been trying to reconnect with the people from my past. im tired of always burning bridges with the people i care about. i know ive been a shitty person to a few people out there, but im only human. im just trying to be more honest and transparent. were all human. we all feel the same things. we can all relate in that sense. and if theres anything i can do to make this place a bit more bearable, im all for it.
i feel like if this crazy turn of events were to have happened to me 4 months ago or even a year ago i would have gone nuts. im just glad to have grown and to continue growing.
as far as getting dumped, its still stings. but i know ill be okay. and for the first time i can honestly say that im not bitter. someone made the decision to no longer be with me, and thats okay. were all birds. we all have free will. but what gets to me the most is that i feel as if i just lost my best friend. maybe with time, we’ll get there again. but if not, at least i have the memories. we had a lot of good times. we both grew a lot. it was honestly the best relationship ive ever had. and for the first time im not letting the end define it. ive got nothing but love for that girl. ive got nothing but love for everyone.
im also really grateful for having a lot of great opportunities come my way lately. im trying to take every shot i can. you miss all the shots you dont take. and i dont want to live my life with a bunch of “what ifs” lingering in my head.
im feelin really blessed. i have everything i need. now the only way to go from here is up.