So the holidays are upon us, and initially it brings excitement; the freedom to do what we like, when we like; the time to read books of our choice instead of compulsory uni readers; the liberty to have late nights without consequences the next morning.
Until I realise I do all that during the semester anyway. Never have I bothered with an early night because of a uni class the next morning. Nor have I ever completed a reading from start to finish, instead highlighting random pieces of text to give the illusion of comprehension. And let’s be honest here, I don’t think I really put uni ahead as a priority, but rather let it idly hover on par with most other aspects of my life. In all respects, holidays are nothing new.
Grappling with the concept of no uni classes, uni events or drunken escapades involving uni, I truly don’t know what to do with my time. Having returned home to a place further south of my usual dwelling in Sydney, I feel almost isolated from what I’ve come to recognise as normal. Sitting at home in my pyjamas well after midday, I’ve done nothing worthy of merit. Thus far, I’ve gotten out of bed, done a load of washing, read half an article in the paper, and commented on the vicious wind that’s keeping me indoors. In essence, nothing.
It’s funny to think that barely a week ago, I longed for this. I dreaded exams or essays, I complained about lack of sleep and I desired the ability to stay in bed guilt free. I’ve since realised I can never stay in bed guilt free, regardless of the fact that once I get up I do very little else. If there is a way to fill my time with productive projects or worthwhile pursuits, I would love to hear it, because ultimately, holidays are wasted on me.
This time last year, I would’ve been in heaven. But this year, uni is something that has grown on me; become more appealing than the rest of my life. It’s funny how much a year can change you. And as time goes on, we’re only going to change more. Next year, I hope to have a few international adventures under my belt, a permanent home much, much closer to uni, and a life that doesn’t resemble one of a gypsy’s as much as it does now. But all that could change because none of us actually have any control over the future.
It’s something nice to ponder for 5 minutes. And then I remember it’s holidays and I’m bored.