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Game 2: Los Angeles at San Antonio

The only thing boring about the Spurs is the inability of NBA playoff teams to give them a game. Why do we insist on even pretending the Clippers have a chance against these mighty (and mechanical) Spurs? Voltron has formed perfectly in 16 straight games (a new record when including the playoffs) with the Clippers merely providing a backdrop of tomfoolery highlighted by their Vinny Del Negro defense.

By way of Baller Shots, comes this quote from Popovich:

“Some of the stuff we do on defense, we actually have one thing we call on the pin downs, we say we’re going to ‘Del Negro it’ and that’s in his honor and we’ve done that for 15 years,” Popovich said. “We have a Del Negro defense out there because he couldn’t play a lick of D. At times we had to invent something just to hide him, so we call it ‘Del Negro’ and you do certain things on the court and everybody has to make up for that guy who’s the ‘Del Negro.’”

Popovich isn’t just psyching out the Clippers, he’s demoralizing them; like if your girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend was a porn star, and when he met you he just flashed a devilish grin your way as all your self-confidence crumbled. The Clippers are you, and the ex-boyfriend porn star is Gregg Popovich and the Spurs. 

About this lopsided game 2, what is there really to say? The Spurs only lost 1 quarter all game (they were out-scored 21-17 in the 2nd), but even the 4th, when they emptied their bench, they won easily 27-21. That’s because the Spurs bench plays better than 80% of the starting units in the league. 

I’m sure LA writers and Clippers fans will note Chris Paul’s aggravated groin/hip-flexer (well, which is it?!) and Blake’s knee. Paul’s hip doesn’t get loose until late, and by that time Blake’s knee has locked up, so that’s an understandable argument to be made about their inability to even compete right now. But even with the Clippers stars at 100%, would it really matter?

Last night, Griffin finished with 20 to lead the Clippers, and the only other LA players in double figures were Paul (again struggling with only 10 points to go with 5 assists and 8 turnovers) and Randy Foye with 11. That’s a pathetic set of numbers, but they just can’t get going in San Antonio. Hopefully it will be better back at Staples for them.

The Voltron robots were led by Tony Parker who rebounded from a poor-shooting game 1, to drop 22 points with 5 rebounds and 5 assists. Duncan had 18 points, 5 rebounds, 2 assists and 2 steals in 33 minutes. Boris Diaw had 16 points on perfect 7 for 7 shooting (if you want a good piece of evidence that Popovich is the Bill Belichek of the NBA—and no other coach is even close to him—then fatty-boom-batty Boris Diaw going perfect from the field in a playoff game is exhibit C). Manu shot poorly but still scored 10 and Danny Green, their young off-guard, had 13 on 4-6 from long range. 

They formed like Voltron and got the win, easily.

I love the Spurs, especially Popovich (so does your girlfriend, Clippers fans :), but I just wish someone would stand up to their well-oiled machine and disrupt the mechanical flow of their brilliance. If robots are so predictable, and the synthetic nature of the analogy makes it so, why can’t anyone stop them? 

Aren’t you pissed Memphis didn’t advance? At least with Memphis we’d have Z-Bo and Gasol battling Duncan on the block. Andre Jordan/Reggie Evans/Kenyon Martin are all in Tim Duncan’s back pocket. He’s just smiling and playing with them, like Popovich is playing head games with Vinny and your girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend porn star is playing head games with you.

If the Spurs jump out to a lead in game 3 on Saturday, that’s it; it’s over. This over-achieving Clippers team will fold faster than an off-suite 2-7 deal. I don’t blame them; these Spurs are on a historic mission to remind NBA fans they dominated a large portion of the aughts. Actually no, they’re a robot programmed for a single goal: an NBA title. They could care less what you think of them or whether you consider them sexy or if there’s a cool nickname we can attach to them (I already did with Voltron).  They just win, that’s it. They’re a team composed entirely in the image of Popovich and Duncan. A team without ego or the personality that makes us human. They are Voltron, and the rest of the NBA will quiver at their emotion-less power.

The nice thing for me—and possibly me alone—is I actually watched every game of the 2005 NBA Finals between Detroit and San Antonio. It went 7 hard-fought, low-scoring games. Both teams were TEAMS, which is why no one watched. I had a theory that summer that Tim Duncan couldn’t hit big free throws at the end of tight games. I was wrong of course, and even if I was right, Popovich would have come up with some system that meant Timmy didn’t have to shoot free throws at the end of tight games. But both squads played hard defense and pased the ball tro try and overcome that defense. It was basketball, not a seemingly endless stream of pick and rolls at the top of the key. 

Keep that 2005 series in mind if you see a Boston-San Antonio finals or an Indiana-San Antonio finals. All the bloggers will be distraught, but I’ll be loving it. 

The Spurs form like Voltron and Popovich happens to be the head. They’ve been fully-formed for the last 16 games, 6 of them in the playoffs. Who is gonna break them apart?

Final: SAN ANTONIO SPURS 105 - Los Angeles Clippers 88

The Spurs lead the series 2-0

PHOTOS VIA

It’s still unknown exactly which internal organs the Philadelphia 76ers successfully snagged from Paul Pierce during their impromptu game of Operation in the course of play.

AP Photo/The News Journal, Suchat Pederson