Nature is fucked up. And disgusting. But not without a certain sense of irony.
You know all the pictures you’ve seen of smiling happy pregnant women? You know what I am talking about, you’ve see them in magazines, TV commercials, billboards, posters. Pretty much everywhere and anytime pregnancy is mentioned. Some smiling chick with a big belly, who always smiles (or “glows”) and have a really healthy looking skin color.
They are all bullshit. Seriously. It’s all a veil of lies and deceit. Remember that scene in The Matrix when Morpheus explains to Neo what The Matrix really is? It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.
Everything surrounding pregnancy is just that. Nothing is happy, nothing is smiles, it’s all fucked up.
Your beautiful hot wife will turn into a farting, burping, peeing, pooping, hormonal caricature of herself. Hateful at nature for making her go through this, hateful at you because you don’t have to go through it and frustrated with herself because she hates her hormonal meltdowns - even more than you hate it when she goes nuts. She will turn into a methane producing cow, feel extremely uncomfortable, outgrow her entire wardrobe, get sore feet and back pains, need to pee every 20 minutes, have trouble sleeping because your kid will moving around (or because she needs to pee) - and maybe even get her ribs broken because your kid is kicking her.
But nature does change your life with a certain sense of irony: I guess your wife gets used to not sleeping, so she can wake up every night when the baby arrives. You get used to your wife being erratic, weird, crazy, hormonal and crying - because your kid will be born without the ability to communicate and will be crying a lot. Just like a crazy person.
There’s a certain irony in it all, it’s thematically correct: nature is utterly fucked up.
That being said: I am 30 days out from becoming a dad. I can’t wait.
And holy fucking cow I respect women, more than I ever have. There is not a single man on Earth who is “man enough” to endure what they go through. Thank you for being you.
Especially my wife, she also has to deal with me.