34 things openwindows likes Explore more popular stuff on Tumblr →

Today I met with a Jewish matchmaker for my upcoming dating article.  (Quick note: I’m not Jewish.)  It doesn’t bode well that someone desperate to date in Charlotte has resorted to using non applicable matching services. Soon I’ll be going to AA meetings to break my Diet Coke addiction. 

I learned two things from my pseudo matchmaker (she can’t actually match me with anyone apparently as I’m not Jewish):  1) Men almost always request that their match be “slender.” 2) Being in a relationship requires being dependent on another person.

I thought about these things as I munched through my Chick-fil-A lunch combo following our meeting. Slender doesn’t seem to be in the cards for me (See aforementioned Chick-Fil-A.)  And being dependent on another person sounds like a recipe for disaster (See Elin Woods.).  And I like my pasta-eating, solo-home-owning,  self-supporting, working-woman life just fine.

So, I thought, as I enjoyed my fries, maybe I’m meant to be single. It occurs to me however, that I read on one of these dating sites that “paying bills” typically falls to the male in a relationship.  That gave me pause. This week I went without heat for three days in freezing temperatures because I’d forgotten to pay my gas bill.

I thought about those cold mornings. Could that have been avoided if there was a Mr. Sarah? I slowly put down the chicken. Maybe my new Jewish matchmaker was on to something. Maybe I should eat lettuce and thereby find someone to keep up with the bills. I might never have to take a shower in 30 degree weather again.

Then it occurred to me that life is short, there are only so many chicken sandwiches to be eaten, and if the heat goes off again, I’m going to need the extra insulation they give.

I’ll find Mr. Sarah next week.

Kenneth P. LaValle

Dear Mr. LaValle, or whichever of your staffers is assigned today to read through emails from constituents. I hope this message finds you well.

I was heartbreakingly disappointed to learn that you had cast a “no” vote on the marriage equality bill before the New York State Senate on Wednesday, December 2nd 2009. I find such a vote to be at odds both with the views I and many other residents of your senate district hold, as well as with a basic understanding of human decency. You are, whether I like it or not, my proxy up there in the Albany wilderness, and as such I realize there will be times when your views differ with my mine on matters of policy, but I would hope that your votes would always keep in line with my fundamental ideals of love and compassion for others, and as such to make it a priority to protect and expand the rights of the New Yorkers you are charged with representing. I hope there was at least a slight hesitation somewhere inside you before you decided to voice that “no” which helped to snatch away a right so many of your constituents have been denied for far too long.

I would like you to remember that the motto of our state is Excelsior, meaning “ever upward”. New York is a progressive state, and as such is at its best when moving forward, when making every effort to open up new possibilities of happiness and creating the possibility of fuller and more rewarding lives for its many citizens, be they gay or straight. You and the other Senators who voted “no” on this bill made our fine state unworthy of that motto when you did so, as you held us back in the muck of historical ignorance and fear, and you prevented us from walking alongside our gay neighbors and relatives, friends and coworkers, towards the bright landscape of equality which stands open before us. And I assure you that one day, not far off from today, legal and accepted gay marriages will seem as everyday and normal and non-threatening as any other, and that future New Yorkers will look back at the actions and words of you and others and find them as strange and bizarre and incomprehensible as we today find those of the segregationist south. I hope that you will keep this in mind if you ever happen to once again be voting on legislation that could expand or contract the rights of many of your constituents.

Of course it goes without saying that you never had and never will have my vote. And in 2010 I will do my absolute best to persuade as many residents of our district as I can to pull the lever for your opponent.

Uncomprehendingly,
Ryan

Note: Senator LaValle’s contact information can be found here, in case you wanted to send him your thoughts on his shameful vote yesterday.