474 things musicismyexpression likes Explore more popular stuff on Tumblr →

I WILL run/walk 10 miles before the end of the summer. It’s happening.

I WILL be more fit and trim before I start ballet in the fall. I didn’t have the opportunity to dance when I was younger, so I’m not going to let anything stand in the way of me getting the most out of the experience that I can now.  Good training could get me a job someday. 

I WILL be able to do 200 crunches by the end of the summer. I’m already over half way there!

I WILL be able to do a full chin up by the end of the summer. Laugh if you will, but I totes can’t do one now :)

So, those are the goals! Now I just need to make a reward for myself once I achieve them :D

Some days I start to forget how badly I want to be close to someone…

and then I remember.

Damn it. 

I need to vent. Kinda big time.

So first, lets start with my job. I hate it. I hate the hours, I hate sitting at a desk swiping in people who reek of pot, I hate dealing with stupid drunk freshmen.  I hate being here until the wee hours of the night instead of sleeping, which is all I really want to do these days.   

I have no clue if I’m going to pass my English class. I am just lacking the ability to care and to get the projects done.  Also, today he decided to make us do this bitch of a group project as our final project.  Fml. Not only do I hate group project, but my group is all prissy little bitches who think they’re God’s gift to creation, and they apparently lack any sort of a brain. So, basically, this next three weeks is going to be hell in this class. I just want to quit school. I know I know, there is only 3 weeks left in the semester…but it’s just so impossible feeling!

This funeral on sunday is going to be one of the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life. That’s enough said on that one.  

Pretty much, I’m just so completely overwhelmed right now, and to be honest, I can’t even really pin point why it is that I’m so miserable.  

But these are things I know:

-I’ve wanted to be drunk. a lot. as of late

-I absolutely feel like I’m failing in everything I try to do

-I feel like people are constantly disappointed with me

-I’m never going to look the way I want

I just feel like so much of what I’m doing in my day to day life is just a giant waste and that nothing even matters any more. I’m just ready to shut down and take a break for awhile.

That’s all, I guess. I’m just going to sit at this shitty job now….