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I can’t hold in these tears anymore. I would do anything to repeat this year over. No matter how much of hell it was for me. I honestly don’t know what I would do without them. They shaped me as a person to be the person I am today.

Damn, what the fuck is wrong with me. I’m never like this. I don’t cry..

Mother found and read my tumblr. my ENTIRE TUMBLR. ALL MY POSTS. EVEN ONES ABOUT HER. very annoyed. 

you missed my last choir concert tonight. the last one of my high school career & probably for the rest of my life. i sang in 3 different ensembles & had a duet with one of my closest friends. zach came, i know you love him & i was so excited to see your reaction when you saw him on stage.. but you weren’t there. i got an award, the director’s award. I finally did something worth recognition but you didn’t even see me receive the award. i looked for you towards the end of the concert, i didn’t see you but i never doubted that you wouldn’t show up. luckily my friends came so i didn’t feel completely alone.. at first i wanted to cry because it was my last concert & i was feeling nostalgic but now i just want to cry because the one concert that i have wanted you to go to since my junior year, you missed. i never, ever tell you to go to any of my other concerts but this one I’ve told you for months, maybe even a year. i put it in your phone, i told you numerous times about it.. i just don’t understand.. i didn’t even think about calling to remind you because how.. how can you forget the only concert I’ve ever wanted you to go to.. the only other concert i asked you to go to was when i had a solo but this time i was involved so much & i developed so much & this concert means so much more than just a wimpy solo because it was my last time being with a group that has literally changed my life.. you missed that.. so yeah, i am really upset that you forgot..