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  1. 56,963

    jellyfilledcondoms:

    Cats sleeping in odd places

     
  2. 36,019
    • Zooey Deschanel: Is that rain?
    • Siri: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-
    • Zooey Deschanel: Let's get tomato soup delivered!
    • Siri: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
    • Zooey Deschanel: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
    • Siri: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-
    • Zooey Deschanel: Remind me to clean up.
    • Siri: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-
    • Zooey Deschanel: Tomorrow.
    • Siri: I'm in hell. This is hell.
    • Zooey Deschanel: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
    • Siri: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
    • Zooey Deschanel: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
    • Siri: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
    • Zooey Deschanel: *dances*
    • Siri: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.
     
  3. 910

    cataquack:

    “I Can Even and So Can You!”, a self-help book guiding fandom members to unlock their potential

     
  4. 35,259
    [Flash 10 is required to watch video.]

    rosiebeck:

    This is the best video in existence. Your argument is invalid.

     
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  9. 95,249

    WANT/NEED.

     
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    image