Windows, Nottingham, 21/01/2012.
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This is why journalism is so ruddy annoying.
1. ‘feisty, eccentric’ - this is but a whisker away away from calling these five women ‘nutty tarts’*. Did the sub-editor done it? Awful, awful, awful. JUST BLOODY AWFUL.
2. These women have not ‘just arrived’ - Kreayshawn’s single was released in June last year, when she had a Guardian Guide cover feature. Dominique Young Unique has been kicking about for donkeys - albeit with little coverage, presumably because some div was waiting for another 4 girls with almost nothing in common (other than the fact that they are Girls! Who make music!) so they could draw a circle around all five and call it a thing. I write about bedwetter indie one day a week, and even I know who she is.
It would be nice if there was less of this sort of nonsense. In 2008/9 it happened with electro-pop, which was when I was first asked if I wanted to talk to a female pop star about ‘what it’s like being a woman in the music industry’. If I had a pound in 2009 for every time I was told about VV Brown collecting vintage Korgs as if they were bloody nazi plates, I would be doing my big shop in Sainsers at least by now. Point is, you wouldn’t write a feature about five men who all happen to play an electric guitar. ‘Women being able to play instruments and therefore owning a few’ is not a flipping trend.
I don’t even think journalists are to blame, because they know that in order to score a commission, you need to convince the editor that you have a NU FENOMINOM on your hands. And I’ve pitched this sort of rubbish myself. But it’s tiresome. So in 2012 I would quite like us to:
STOP DRAWING CIRCLES AROUND THINGS AND CALLING THEM THINGS
Or, to put it another way:

Next week, in TEH MEDIA:
1. Women Who Have Tits
2. Women Who Have Tits And Can Play B Minor
3. Women Who Have Tits And Can Play B Minor And Don’t Wear Mascara
4. Women Who Have Tits And Can Play B Minor And Don’t Wear Mascara Who Had Sex Once And Quite Liked It
5. Women Who Have Tits And Can Play B Minor And Don’t Wear Mascara Who Had Sex Once And Quite Liked It Who Once Shared A Cup Of Tea With Jeff Buckley
6. Really, Really Young Women Who Have Tits And Can Play B Minor And Don’t Wear Mascara Who Had Sex Once And Quite Liked It Who Once Shared A Cup Of Tea With Jeff Buckley Although Let’s Face It, He Probably Taught Them How To Play B Minor
I know this is the way the world works and it is emphatically not Paul Lester’s fault that features journalism works in this way. But the unmodern nature of modern times occasionally strikes you as rather bizarre.
* [‘Nutty tarts’ should be credited to Eleanor Morgan, who once said it in the general direction of my face. It still amuses me greatly.]
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I no get it #9279234934
If you want someone to write something impassioned about your music, send them your music. I know it is knuckle-gnawingly hard but the brilliant thing is that although The Machine says you have to PR things in a certain way, you actually - W@IT IS THaT TEH SKY FALLIGN IN - don’t have to. I mean, if you don’t really want to give a person your song and you think they have the time or inclination to spread your song about the internet - for frizzle - like so much jam, then DON’T SEND IT TO THEM. Because that would be CRAZY, and you are not.
But if you do want them to form some sort of relationship with your music; take it out into the world, use it to make boring things like their life much more exciting - in short, if you want them to actually know it and then try to find a way to convince other people of its inherent amazingness and agonise over how they can communicate that a song - a simple, ruddy song! - hactually makes the world make sense for the 180 seconds of its duration: SEND THEM YOUR SONG.
If you want people to respond to your music while sat at a computer, bearing in mind they are highly likely to be perma-twitching and hover-clicking on about three other things while they listen (ooh, Twitter, ooh, Facebook, ooh, Regretsy) and if you want them to think about the bit of nail varnish by the mousepad they should probably get rid of but hangon do we have any nail varnish remover in the house and ohwait is putting nail varnish on our macbook safe is it safe is it safe I wonder if Dustin Hoffman is actually nice he seems nice we saw him that one time on the telly and dearchrist remember that dentist who pretended to be Jack Nicholson in The Shining that was a bit weird ohlook trending bit so I am definitely popular - I mean, IF YOU REALLY REALLY WANT THEM TO DO THAT, don’t send them your song. Send them a link to a stream they HAVE TO BE SAT AT THEIR COMPUTER TO LISTEN TO.
Computers! They’re So Ackfing Romantic
I also highly recommend sending them a two page press release, a high-res picture of the lot of you up against some sort of ‘wall’, attaching the press release again as a PDF so they have it in a range of formats and then maybe say something about how Huw Stephens likes you and you are playing Huddersfield in May. DON’T PUT THE SONG IN MAN, put the live dates in a different colour font (woo swag yeh boi). And whatever you do, don’t be absolutely charming to them on Twitter so they feel predisposed to like you when your email arrives (hey, Golau Glau), don’t send them a personalised email, don’t put a writer-baiting compliment at the top of it because if you put one in you definitely have to mean it and FOR GAWD’S SAKE don’t make it simple for the writer to hear you because music writers don’t get many emails what with them being paid in Krugerrands and eating foie gras for elevenses and constantly packing their platinum trousers into Louis Vuitton personalised lugg-garge for weekends in Monte.
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bethanelfyn reblogged golauglau:
Full page Golau Glau interview in Golwg. Click the picture to see a bigger version.

Beth yw Golau Glau?
Two strange things going on here. 1) Well done Golwg for writing about a mysterious London based dance duo wearing their Welsh connections on their sleeve. 2) Golau Glau’s name. Not sure what a Glau is. Sounds Welsh but its not something I’m familiar with. Glaw is rain.
The best thing is Golau Glau’s music and mixes. Follow the links to Golau Glau’s own Tumblr to hear some tunes.
Also here’s another Welsh friend writing about them. Jude Rogers
http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2010/may/13/first-sight-golau-glau
Who are they? Secrets drive me insane.
Filed under: feature, press, print, print press Tagged: “golau glau”, feature, …
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SHAMPOOST
Welsh air, space and sound botherers Golau Glau are one of my favourite entities in music, despite my not knowing how many they number or who they are. This is because they are a SECRET BAND. I like them because they are funny, clever and lively fellows and I like them because they once lived in Criccieth where I used to go on Christian adventure holidays and where you can buy OH BOY THE NICEST ICE CREAM.I ALSO love them because they make spooky, glassy pop songs that share a musical playpark with St. Etienne. But St. Etienne if they were on a massive downer; a St. Etienne who could not be perked up by a lecture on the design of the Royal Festival Hall’s carpet. It is fair to say that what they make is not really the sort of thing I spend heaps and ages listening to because it is quite meditative and I am a bit instant noodles. But hey man, my ears are open, I will give anything a try once unless it is ‘industrial’. Also they are well good.
ANYWAY. Golau Glau mentioned having an hactual copy of an hactual album by Shampoo and I demanded they give it me in the way you seem to be allowed to on the internet. I did not seriously expect it to arrive at my house but it did. The picture above is an exact representation of the exact moment when I recieiieeived it. I remember ‘Trouble’ coming out and thinking it was exciting, rubbish and wanting Shampoo to be amazing really real bad. When I listen to it now it sounds very tinny and a lot slower than I remember. But it is still amazing, rubbish.
Anyway in the spirit of sharing and because I once bought a Shampoo single on twelve in a record shop only to get it home and find that they had put the wrong record in the sleeve but that record was quite good so I kept it and now I can’t find either I thought I would send Shampoo to someone else who might like to put it in their music player before sending it on to someone else. It will be like a chain letter except that no one will threaten you with a spooky curse involving foil-wrapped heather like gypsies used to sell you on the street maybe they still do. I remember being hexed by a gypsy in Bracknell town centre once and the only bad thing that happened to me that day was having my hair ripped out by a Moulinex food processor while making packet-mix sorbet which resulted in a bald spot about the size of a thumbprint that my Mum attempted to cover up with clever plaiting but my sister told everyone in the lunch queue at school and then years later stole the story to use in one of her many ackfing brilliant and incisive poems like the minx she really is. True story, apart from the gypsy, that happened this other time.
If you want the CD next, ‘at’ me on Twitter and I will arrange for YOU to get some SHAMPOOST through your DOOR. You have to promise to send it on to someone you do not even know though, you are not allowed to keep it. And you have to put a note in with the CD on which you have put stickers or at the very least do a drawing.
Rubbish, amazing. But sometimes rubbish is.
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seaninsound reblogged david-noel:
An extensive study into the effect of digitalization on the music industry in Norway has shed an interesting light on the position of artists today, compared to 1999. While the music industry often talks about artists being on the brink of bankruptcy due to illicit file-sharing, the study found that the number of artists as well as their average income has seen a major increase in the last decade.
Rafer sez:
And the music companies are making much less. Go figure.I’d argue that it’s the record companies making less and, that too, depends on who you talk to. I’ll say it again: music industry != recording industry. More people are creating music than ever before, buying more instruments and production software than before and not always with with a commercial goal.
We regularly hear stories from SoundCloud users who tell us they originally never intended to make any money with their music. Fast-forward a few months and they’ll tell you they’ve sold their first songs because of sharing them for free in the first place. These numbers don’t fall into any statistics of recordings sold.
Technically, there is more music being made and released, and therefore, less money per artist, despite the overall pot of what is spent by consumers going up. These numbers also don’t quantify the fact artists now need to invest in themselves, their recordings and their touring.
And there’s so much more which is distorted by a headline like this. For instance, a lot of these figures overlook the fact that some people now buy one expensive festival ticket, rather than 10 tickets. This also ignores the fact that most of the acts on the smaller stages of a festival are often getting as little as £50, which doesn’t cover a day’s van hire, let alone fuel, accommodation, sustenance, etc for 4-5 people. Apart from a few major management firms putting £20-40k+ start-up funds into the likes of La Roux and Kate Nash, very few people are investing in music, least of all on the live side which is apparently “booming” (yet considers losing money on early shows, to beat off competitors, investing). Yet, very few artists, below the 1,000 capacity audience mark, are doing anything but barely scraping by (obvs the maths vary if you can play to 500+ people in 50 cities, rather than just the 10 major cities at high ticket prices). And many of them forego a few big shows of their own in major cities in order to play at festivals to bigger crowds but in many cases for less money than for their own sold out show (and also festivals take a huge cut on merch sales). And obviously, for a lot of curious fans, they see the band at the festival and the sound wasn’t great or the context not quite right, and they never go see the band again.
The biggest problem with this flattening is that the huge successes which once funded the risk taking, are gone. Coldplay led not-particularly-indirectly to DFA Records getting megabucks from EMI, for instance. Labels both big and small (and individuals such as managers or sound guys for that matter), need the successes to take risks on music that is innovative and inspiring but at the moment, they have to play it safe. I’m not saying direct-to-consumer artist services such as Bandcamp and Tunecore or the fan-funding model (see here and here) and everything else which is strengthening the grass roots is killing music but it is very short-sighted to think this is a new future for the business of music, least of all for creative individuals who don’t have the means to invest in their ‘career’. Plus amid this never-ending deluge of music, very few unexceptional artists are getting the funds and resources, least of all the specialist knowledge and support, to make either an impact or a career out of music. This isn’t about getting rich, this is about survival and I fear a future where only bland rich kids can afford to be musicians or where truly great music goes unheard by more than a few hundred people. [insert the Kate Bush didn’t and shouldn’t need to tour to be a musician example here]
I guess what I’m really trying to say is, for every penny shifting from the “evil” major record companies, there’s a whole eco-system that relies on the Boyzones and Britneys, to fund the invention and brave decision making of the Radioheads and LCD Soundsystems of the future. You don’t hear of many success stories from DIY acts that can rival what a mid-sized indie label can do - you hear them of the Radiohead’s of this world, post-millions of investment from those ‘evil bastards’. For once majorly funded types like Amanda Palmer and Trent Reznor, it may seem they are the faces for an incredibly exciting new DIY industry but as much of Andrew Keen’s Cult of the Amateur and Jaron Lanier’s You’re Not a Gadget must-read books have double-underlined, is that these success stories are just convenient glimpses of hope or rather mere spectacles masking the fact that the iceberg only has but a shiny tip, bobbing on the surface.
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“Rock and roll doesn’t necessarily mean a band. It doesn’t mean a singer, and it doesn’t mean a lyric, really. It’s that question of trying to be immortal.”
— - Malcom McLaren
RIP
(via stylman)
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Golau Glau
Remixes by golauglau
Remixes 2 by golauglau
A Better Drinker (Blue Daisy Snow Angel Mix) by golauglauGolau Glau are often discussed on our music forum and have been reviewed in our weekly singles column.
If you’re liking this, check out our regular Armchair Dancefloor column.
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Gold Panda and @Soundcloud
Derwin has just uploaded a new beat to Soundcloud from Japan. Check it out here:
Casio Daisy by Gold Panda