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I’ve been following this blog for a while now and I just want to say thank you. It has helped me so much just reading other peoples’ stories and knowing that I’m not alone in those hours where I’m just feeling so hopeless and upset about the distance. I’ve laughed and cried and blahblahblah. You know. Feelings. What I’m trying to get at is you’re all great and I want to add my own LDR story to the mix.

I was first introduced to my boyfriend, Max, in November of last year. We are both a part of a community on YouTube and our mutual friend sort of brought us together. At the time we met, he lived in Chicago. Now he lives in Colorado and I live in California. My friend and I were having a joking conversation over Skype about the “best looking” people in our community and he brought up Max. I had never heard of him, so he showed me a picture and I thought he was cute, but I wasn’t really in the mindset of finding someone. I had just gotten out of a very damaging and long-term relationship and was juggling school, work, and things going on in my personal life. The conversation was funny, though, so I tweeted about it and Max ended up replying. He said something silly and we started chatting. I soon found out that he was an enormous Firefly fan, as am I, and we bonded and became friends over that. The more we talked, the more I realized just how similar we were. Not even in our interests, but just the way we talked and joked and did little things. I had never met anyone like him and it wasn’t long before I realized that I was falling for him. Hard.

I had a really difficult time reading him whenever I tried to flirt with him. I knew he was a bit of a private person, but I didn’t know how private. I was relentless. I did everything in my power to try to get him to see that I liked him, but apparently (or so he tells me today) it all flew right over his head. I would compliment him constantly, ask him about his day, laugh way too loud, make stupid jokes, all the ridiculous things us girls try to do to show a guy we’re into them. I got nothing from him. I began to think that maybe he just didn’t like me that like that, or maybe he didn’t want to deal with having a long distance relationship. Meanwhile, I was going crazy. He went from being just “cute” to the most attractive, gorgeous man I had ever seen in my life. I don’t know how or when it happened, but it did, and there was absolutely no turning back for me. It was so hard just having regular conversations because I was just so focused on trying to get him to like me. He ended up going to this convention and I heard from one of his friends that a girl there had given him his number. I freaked out. His friend didn’t know if they were talking or what was happening with it, but I knew I had to do something before it was too late. So, I spent the entire day typing out this little confession to him. I was so nervous and I thought the whole thing sounded so stupid, but I sent it to him anyway and I thought my heart was going to explode for the entire 30 seconds of torture he put me through when he was typing his reply. But, he said he felt the same way. And then I squealed and made some other weird noises and god knows what else. I had never felt so happy and so relieved. Suddenly, everything just started working. Talking to him became as easy as breathing. We fit together so effortlessly.

We met for the first time a few months later. I showed up to the airport an hour early and I was so jittery. I tried to distract myself, but I just kept staring at the screen showing the arrivals. When I saw that his plane had landed, I could barely breathe and waiting for him felt like forever. Then I finally saw him. His back was to me and I was going to try to sneak up on him, but he turned around. Our hugging moment was so cliché. I dropped my purse and he dropped his backpack and I ran and jumped into him. He gave me the most amazing hug and I just couldn’t stop looking at him. We spent a week and a half together and that was the first time we said we loved each other. Meeting for the first time changed the dynamic of our relationship so much, and in the best way. Just being able to see his smile when he laughs or the way he looks at me or the silly faces he makes.

That first goodbye was tough. I was on the brink of tears the entire day and I just wanted the clock to slow down, but we know it never does. There isn’t really an easy way to describe that feeling. It’s an emptiness that you feel in your entire body. I just don’t feel like myself unless he’s next to me. He takes a part of me home with him. Thankfully, we’ve got a very happy “ending” of sorts.

Fast forward to today. In about six days, I will never have to experience that pain of saying goodbye to him ever again. I’ll be flying up to Colorado and we’ll be looking at apartments and we plan on moving in together sometime in mid-May. This was essentially made possible thanks to the people in our community who have watched our relationship from the beginning. Our friends and viewers have been extremely supportive and we can’t even begin to express how thankful and grateful we are to them. We both get messages all the time from people who are also in long distance relationships and how we’ve become an inspiration to them. I’ve received over $1,200 in donations to help me pay for the expenses it requires to move. It’soverwhelming and amazing. Some have asked me if I worry that it’s happening so suddenly, but the truth is, I wouldn’t have gotten into the relationship if I wasn’t hoping for this. We’re both very rational and logical people and we both have put a lot of thought into this decision. We know the realities of living together and we’ve weighed the costs. I’ll be leaving a home that I haven’t moved further than a mile from in 21 years, and now I’ll be 1,000 miles away. But just being able to wake up every morning and seeing him snoring or falling asleep to his heartbeat. I have never felt so much love and passion from one person. I love him more than anything and I think that’s worth everything.