in the beginning, god created the heavens and the earth. then he took a five minute break and said, “let there be tagalongs” 

and then these beautiful bitches came into existence

tagalongs are proof that god does exist 

this magnificence is made of peanut butter and chocolate and some other shit that i don’t remember but it’s like an explosion of divine goodness in your mouth

girl scouts, aka heaven’s angels themselves, will arrive at your doorstep and you’ll think, “ugh these assholes, maybe i’ll order one box to make them leave me alone,” and by the time they’ve left, you have ordered 25 boxes of tagalongs

you won’t even know what hit you when you eat one 

and before you know it, you will have no tagalongs left because they will all be in your stomach because everyone turns into a greedy asshole when it comes to these fuckers 

shit i mean

let’s all breathe a quiet chorus of hallelujah because earth is a fine place to be so long as there are tagalongs 

amen