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“I would still go mad with tenderness at the mere sight of her face” — Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita
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Piracy Philosophy
Piracy
I’m talking about internet piracy here. Piracy of music and movies are, in my opinion, one of the driving forces turning us against authority today. It turns most young people into criminals, and makes criminal behavior normal. Like marijuana laws, they are poorly written and poorly enforced leading many to become disillusioned with the purpose of law institutions and their ability to enforce their own laws.
Unenforceable laws lead to a degradation of authority. Ask any parent and they will agree. If you are unwilling or unable to enforce laws, you are seen as either incompetent or incapable and you quickly lose social clout. So whats the deal with piracy? Why does the state keep bashing its head against a brick wall?
Value
The value argument revolving around piracy goes something like this:
- the MPAA sues limewire based on downloads of songs, assessing damages per song download at retail price
- The damages comes out to trillions of dollars over the total currency in circulation on planet earth
- We all laugh at the absurdity of the MPAA for demanding more money than currently exists, as if their industry encompasses the total earthly GDP
The problem with the current view of piracy is that people who are downloading these songs and movies would likely NOT buy them if they couldn’t download them. They are too poor or too lazy to go to the brick and mortar store to buy these products.
However, value IS getting destroyed. How? By a certain segment of the population that thinks “I can’t enjoy this music if too many other people are listening to it at the same time as me”. You know who I’m talking about.
Hipsters
Yes, hipsters. The only people pretentious enough to think to themselves “I’d buy this music, but too many other people like it so I don’t think its worth as much now”. Hipsters - pushing piracy laws since before it was cool. Fucking hipsters are the reason piracy is considered a crime.
The movie and music industry giants are oppressing downloaders to cater to hipsters. We’ve come full circle - the Legal Circle of Life(TM)(c). There is only one option now. We must bring the hipsters to justice for aiding and abetting the standing institutions - via lawsuits. The irony of such an act - pirates suing hipsters for their collusion with mainstream music - will cause aneurysms in the brains of hipsters all across the nation. It will go down in history as a supernova of irony, an event to be remembered and talked about for ages.
Down with the hipsters. Bring them to justice.
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