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I have no idea how to introduce this post, so I’m skipping the first paragraph.

During rehearsal on Tuesday, it came to mind that I should see my throat doctor because something didn’t feel/sound right. I went in for a visit on Wednesday and a scope of my vocal cords revealed that the granuloma has grown back where it had mostly healed. This is bad news. Because of this, I have no choice but to take an indefinite break from live performing. Though there will be a day when all of this will be behind me, it will sideline me for a longer period of time than I care to have you count down.

I want to explain this a bit more in depth than I have in the past, because I know there’s some confusion as to what this condition is; a granuloma forms and continues to snowball because it’s in a spot where the vocal cords hit together and there’s no way to really give it a chance to heal without a good stretch of time and some pretty intensive treatment. In short, it’s one giant pain in the ass.

Okay, so here’s the plan… Born and Raised will be released as scheduled, but because I don’t make a very good anything-other-than-a-musician, I’m going to begin writing the next album very soon. I feel really vibrant as a writer at the moment and there’s no reason not to begin the next album project in the time I would have been touring. Somewhere in all of this is another surgery and a very long chemically-imposed period of silence, so I hope you’ll understand that I have to really pick that date carefully.

I’m pretty emotionally burnt out at the moment, but please know how hard I tried to resolve this and how disappointed I am that I can’t perform this record yet. I’m completely bummed, especially for all of you who started making plans to see a show. Nothing feels worse than having to break the stage down before the performance, and I mean nothing. I love this band you were going to hear, I love the guys and girls I work with, and the only thing that stops me from devolving into a puddle of tears is knowing that it’s a long life, and the greatest gift in the world is being able to create music no matter what the circumstances. So these are the new circumstances, and I’ll find a way to make it mean something. That’s all you can ever do.

John

As we draw near to the iPad 3 announcement, I thought I’d leave you with a little poem. 

Twas the day of the keynote, and all through the lands

All the bloggers were stirring, mice glued in their hands.  

Silence hung in suspenseful air,

in hopes that Tim Cook soon would be there. 

The fanboys were nestled all snug in their beds,

while visions of iOS danced in their heads.

Pundits in kerchiefs and Analysts in caps,

had just settled in to write long lines of crap. 

When out on the stage there arose such a clatter,

I sprang to my browser to see what was the matter. 

Away through the windows I flew without Flash,

Tore open the liveblogs, cleared out my cache.

The glow on the back of each MacBook Pro

Gave the luster of midday to bloggers below. 

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a dimming of lights, and a roaring of cheer.

With the southern accent that he partook,

I knew in a moment it must be Tim Cook.

More rapid than eagles his statistics they came,

And he whistled and shouted and called them by name.

“The Macs and the iPods are somehow still kickin’ 

And the iPads, well you’re in for a fixin.

To the top of the charts! To the top of them all! 

And that, well that’s really about all.”

As dry leaves before the wild hurricane fly, 

When they meet with an obstacle mount to the sky. 

So up to the stage Schiller practically flew, 

With a slide full of news, and a new product too.

And then with some clicking I heard from the crowd,

the sound of typing, far much too loud.

As I scrolled through the comments and looked all around,

a new product was launched, with hardly a sound.

It was covered in glass, from it’s bezel to it’s button,

While bloggers were eating up facts like mutton.

A boatload of pictures were snapped at that,

But Schiller had only just stepped up to bat.

His eyes- how they twinkled! His smile how merry!

But the pundits were quickly becoming wary.

The prices were low and the crowd was excited,

To the press, a failure had already been sighted.

A small slider clicker he held tight in his hand,

And the presentation grew increasingly grand.

The bloggers were jumping right out of their seats,

When Forstall came up with even more sweets.

He was cheerful and smiling, a right jolly old self,

And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself!

A click of his slide and a nod of his head,

Let my wallet know it had something to dread.

He spoke a few words, then went straight to his work,

And demoed new apps, then turned with a jerk.

And laying a finger aside of his clicker,

And giving a nod, off the floor he flickered.

Tim sprang to the stage, to the press gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he walked out of sight, 

“Did I mention, it also comes in white?”

Congratulations to CNET’s Brooke Crothers for writing one of the most ridiculous things I’ve read in a while — and successfully getting myself (and undoubtedly many others) to link. Even more impressive: he didn’t have to break 400 words to do it. My guess is that he wrote this in 10 minutes. If not, that’s just sad. 

You used to see a lot more of these types of posts a few years ago. But once those writing them started getting exposed as fools, they slowed down. You see, the argument used to be that those constantly writing positively about Apple were both morons and brainwashed — Apple was insignificant in the all-important PC market at the time, so those who liked the products were obviously whack jobs on the fringe of humanity. 

Then a funny thing happened.

Apple became one of the most successful companies and the most valuable company in the world. They transformed the entertainment landscape, the retail landscape, the mobile landscape, and did something all the naysayers said was impossible: created an actual market for tablets. Now most companies around the world are trying to copy at least part of Apple’s business.

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